Wednesday, May 24, 2006

the land of plenty and miracles

So I haven't been posting as of late because I have been a shut-in/lazy git or whatevs. But that, mon freres, has all changed because today was a day of sweet, sweet glory . . . it was a little something I like to call sushi and shopping abounds avec le schmeltrex. Namely, I dragged her to Urban Outfitters which is the land of plenty and shoes and miracles and whatevs. Also, and perhaps the greatest bit of all, is the ragingly gay sales reps. My favorite was the guy who told schmelt that the pair of smashing slingbacks she was trying on were "super comfortable". Of course, he knew from far too personal of experience . . . I love him like none other!

Ohh my, the deals we found . . . I am excited girl because I snagged myself a pair of white Con high tops for 16 dollars!! Ha! Jealousy!! Having a pair of white high tops pretty much completes my dreams of being a white trash muthafucker! The world is mine for the taking . . . MINE I SAY!

Another source for happiness is the fact that I have decided to get myself contacts so I can wear oversized rockin awesome sunglasses which mock society with the enormity of their UV protection!

Also maybe I am watching "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" and the punchlines are so cheesy it makes my HEAD EXPLODE with awesomeness!! "I think the premiere is going to be a 'blast'" followed by some severe eyebrow waggling. Fuck you!

Monday, May 22, 2006

this boat is obviously sinking

Ha!! There is a thunderstorm . . . it's only my most favoritest thing about summer!! Oh ho ho I'm off to go watch the greatness!!

TO DA MOON!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

jiggy with the nile virus

Ohhh my brothers, I just got back from a sunset bicycle ride . . . sounds like fun until one considers the abundant mosquito population. ABUNDANT INDEED!! Not only have I come out of this bike ride with about a bazillion bites but also, most likely, a hardy case of West Nile . . . brain swelling here I come!! Neat!

communism is the source of plaque

Ohhhh my, the last couple of days I have been an emotional ball of stress . . . everything set me off either a screaming fit of rage or a sobbing ball of awesome! It's mostly because my cat is sick so all my energy has been focused on making her feel better and comfortable and whatnot.

Today we took her to the vet to diagnose the problem, she has bad teeth . . . they are infected and spreading communist propaganda throughout her entire little body. Tomorrow the little bit is getting surgery to remove the commie teeth, which adds to my whole crazy stress bit because she's so old and frail and awesome. She clawed the fuck out of me on the way to the vet, the cat's a bloody fighter so I'm sure she'll be fine.

To take my mind off of the stress-like goodtimes I have decided to devote my day to watching Buffy and hanging out with my cat. Nice weather be damned . . . Buffy is calling!



CUTENESS EXPLOSION!!

Monday, May 15, 2006

ohhh yes

The Strokes are tonight!! Posting later, head explosion now . . . that or me running around my house in my underwear dancing like amazing!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

pirate whores and trannies



















Ohhh Rocky Horror Picture Show . . . be still my heart!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

blog couture

also because taking up space in my blog is fun . . .

chelsaurus rex says:
CANADA IS BRING LEPROSY TO AMERICA!!!

strenge fruit says:
OH SNAP HOW DID THEY FIND OUT!?

strenge fruit says:
MY BOOKSHELF IS NOW DELICIOUSLY SINFUL!

strenge fruit says:
My mentor teacher gave me a Jesus-book called "The Purpose Driven Life" and I tucked it between "Good Omens" and gay smut! >D

strenge fruit says:
Well, gay detective novels actually! XD

chelsaurus rex says:
haha

chelsaurus rex says:
YOU ARE MY HERO!!

chelsaurus rex says:
this is going on my blog

strenge fruit says:
I have the weirdest damn assortment of books. XD;

chelsaurus rex says:
the coolest is what I think you meant to say mon frere

strenge fruit says:
hmm?

chelsaurus rex says:
gay detective novels, the closest thing I have to that awesomeness is Plato's Republic . . . that has a WHOLE lot of gay!! ohhh Socrates when will you learn

strenge fruit says:
OH MAN I SHOULD LEND THEM TO YOU THEY ARE SO HORRIBLE!

strenge fruit says:
IT'S ALL LIKE "OH I LOVE YOU MY GAY HAIRY MAN LET'S HATE LESBIANS BECAUSE THEY ARE EVIL MANHATERS WHO SELFHATE TOO!"

strenge fruit says:
AND THE LESBIANS ARE ALL "I HATE YOU LET'S BLOW UP AN ABORTION CLINIC KTHNXBAI"

chelsaurus rex says:
AMAZING!!

. . . basically, B is my emotional hero.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

rockadile tales

I am about to go to bed because I am pathetic and old. That or awesome! I am actually excited for tomorrow because it holds great promise . . . I get to go shopping for great things like a dress and silver shoes because they are sexy and amazing and tacky or whatevs. My friends, I have to admit that I have become a cute shoe whore!! I can't stop myself . . . everything revolves arounds shoes. It's a slippery slope, isn't schmeltie?

Mostly I am excited because I have decided to get myself a lovely little ascott hat for good health and mind-like. It shall be used in a grand plot to be the coolest person evah . . . that and for goodtimes at The Strokes and outfit abounds! Also, I require new glasses because mine are old and make my skin melt with hatred for them. Essentially I am completely allergic to saving money, it's like sweet sweet pet dander. Neat!

I am off because my cat is killing me with her abundant cuteness/claws of impatience!



OH MY GOD!!

Monday, May 08, 2006

drunklor vs tokyo

Ohh my brothers, I am filled with nerdy glee!! Tonight I shall rent movies of sappy greatness . . . perhaps that will mean a little something I like to call "The Notebook". Oh ho ho!! Sappiness indeed! Most likely I'll get there and be filled with too much embrassment and just get something indie and amazing. That or I'll do some sewing or whatevs. ADD is fun for the whole family!



I think I am shooting for wholesome bits because of the drunkeness of this weekend, it's that whole attempt to put the universe into balance or whatevs. I was around abounds on Saturday getting a whole lot of drunk in celebration of Neville Helmet Hotbottom. Needless to say, I drank . . . A LOT!! Perhaps the greatest part was me screaming at Beau's band about the end of Suffragette City . . . Duuuude, you HAVE to scream 'suffragette' like one mean muthafucker or it's lacking a whole lot of awesome. Naturally, I discussed this matter with the band with elegance and grace. That or it was me leaning over in a drunken mess and talked/yelled at Beau.



At this point I think I was screaming about the Olive Garden based exclusively on the Principal Skudworth hand gesture.

Je regrette.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

jungle fevah!

Do you know what is amazing and fantastical??!!? When your sodding computer crashes just as you're about to press the 'publish post' button . . . fuck you irony!! This is just adding to my general PMS rage. Oh yes and raging indeed!!

Soooo here we go again . . . attempt to post number 2:

Today anything that came within a 5 meter radius of me was declared an enemy and they had to die. Ohhh poor mombles, she had the misfortune of shopping with me and my sheer assery . . . I almost cried in aisle 6 over her selection of bread. It was round, whereas, I prefer the goodtimes of the traditional rectangle loaf. Round loafs are for misfits and hobos!

Aside from wishing sweet, sweet death on anything that fucking moved, I spent my day planning my trip to New York. Everything is quasi-prepared, you know, except for the money bit and the actually getting there . . . minor details really! Mostly I am excited for when I get there, I am starting my month-long stay in the Chelsea district. I am starting there in the hopes of snagging me a gay boyfriend, then my lifelong dream of checking out guys with another guy can be fulfilled!! Fun and goodtimes abounds!! In my head my new boyfriend is french and carries a bagette with him EVERYWHERE!!

I shall name him Pierre and he is snippy and I love him.