sometimes just maybe

the mysterious ways of the iPod

2007-04-15T21:58:00.000-06:00

This post is totally stolen from Garrick because I'm lazy and lack creativity!! Thanks dude!

Set all your music to shuffle and then use the title of whatever song pops up as the answer to the question. Hilarity usually ensues... And of course no skipping, unless it's not really a song at all.

1. How does the world see me?

Deftones - My Own Summer (Shove It)

Me thinks the world has problems playing with others . . . Sad.

2. Will I have a happy life?

Outkast - Roses

"Roses really smell like poo" . . . Great, my life is going to be shit! FANTASTIC!

3. What do my friends really think of me?

Grandaddy - Guide Down Denied

I'm a space cadet! I admit it!

4. Do people secretly lust after me?

Moist - Into Everything

Aww, gee, thanks. You're making me blush.

5. How can you be happy?

Tokyo Police Club - If It Works

I'm not going to lie, I have rooted all my happiness in my future academic career. If it works, all will be gravy.

6. What should I do with my life?

Feist - Mushaboom

"Collect these moments one by one" . . . Sounds delish!

7. Why must life be so full of pain?

The Fratellis - Whistle for the Choir

The sound of tiny violins.

8. Will I ever have children?

Tokyo Police Club - Nature of the Experiment

Oh ho ho! What an experiment it would be!! I will name them after dictators and military generals and make them wear itchy wool sweaters because they are neato! Oh! Unless they are girls, in which. I shall name them after Velvet Underground songs . . . However, the wool sweater bit remains the same.

9. Will I die happy?

Elliott Smith - Strung Out Again

Egads! Elliott Smith . . . That is just not a good sign. If I start reaching for the Jack Daniels, that's a sign of bad things to come.

10. What is some good advice for me?

The Dears - Sinthro

I'm going to interpret it that as I should create an army of robots. Only instead of having them kill all humans, I prefer them to dance!

11. What is happiness?

Modest Mouse - Steam Engenius

Again with the robots!!

12. What's my favorite fetish?

Matthew Good Band - Deep Six

HAHAHA!! That is just perfectly dirty!!

13. How will I be remembered?

Broken Social Scene - Blues for Uncle Gibb

As a old man?! Meh, at least I'm remembered. . . Could be worse.

14. What is your love life like?

The Avalanches - Electricity

I wish. Haven't felt those sparks in awhile.

15. What is sex with you like?

Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang

Hahaha!!

16. What's your life motto?

The Velvet Underground - New Age

This makes my heart smile.

17. What do your parents think of you?

Sam Roberts - Mind Flood

18.What's your favorite hobby?

Matthew Good Band - Apparitions

I'm not going to lie, I totally had a magic kit when I was a kid and I've been thinking about picking it up again!

19. What does your best friend really think of you?

Matthew Good Band - Jenni's Song

Wow, how wonderfully depressing. Keltie, you can tell me if you want to kill me with your car, I won't be mad.

20. What's the worst thing about you?

Stealers Wheel - Stuck in the Middle of You

MY INSIDES!!! So true! My stomach hates all things . . . Especially milk. Especially me. Le sigh.

21. Describe your mind.

Moist - Resurrection

Ohh so true! Because of my OCD, I repeat every conversation and social interaction over and over again. Following that, I seriously lament on my social awkwardness

22. How will you die?

Cibo Matto - Birthday Cake

Oh goddamit! Cruel and twisted fate! It'll probably be an ice cream cake . . . Delicious and deadly to those with lactose-intolerance!

23. How does your crush feel about you?

Blonde Redhead - Melody of Certain Three

A threesome?? . . . Apparently, my iPod and crush thinks I'm kinky as all get-out.

24. What is your wedding going to be like?

Tracy Bonham - Mother Mother

Nono, this is wrong. It should be Finger Eleven - "Drag you Down" because that's the only way I'm going down that bloody isle!

25. What about your honeymoon?

Interpol - Hands Away

Bondage?! Well, after the dragging, why not?!

26. Describe the last day of your life.

The Delgados - The Weaker Argument Defeats the Stronger

Sweet, I'll die in a debate. I'll die the way I lived, fighting to the burger.

27. Why does life suck?

Broken Social Scene - Feel Good Lost

Advice for all those feeling lost. The best adventures are found when lost, so enjoy the journey.

28. Why does life rule?

Broken Social Scene - Canada Vs. America

. . . And we are taking the bitches down! Canadian Bacon style!!! *WAR CRY*

29. What will you be famous for?

Matthew Good - Dancing Invisible

I always knew that my mad dance skills would help me take over the world! The invisibility is just a perk.

30. What's the craziest thing you'll ever do?

The Delgados - Don't Stop

Hmm, the iPod approves of my insanity. Excellent!

31. Will you achieve your goals?

Sigur Ros - Gong

Gong show kamikaze style! Absolutely!

32. What will your future job be like?

The Darkness - Growing on Me

Professional uterus-for-sale?! OH, SOD THAT!!

33. And your party life?

Tenacious D - Wonderboy

Again with the mad dance skills!

34. Overall, will you be happy?

Matthew Good Band - Advertising on Police Cars

Oh bloody hell! First with Elliott Smith and then with this . . . Not a good sign, not a good sign at all.

35. Or will you just deal with it?

Enon - Conjugate the Verbs

Well, with all that conjugation things will turn around! They have to!

things and stuff

2007-03-11T22:47:00.000-06:00

I stole this from Keltie, namely, because I haven't posted in forever and this shall distract people from nagging me about it for awhile! Huzzah!

1. What do you wish you had been named? i am emotionally-satisfied with my name, however, when i was a kid i totally wanted to be named melinda. lame, i know.

2. What is the nickname most people call you? chelso . . . have i mentioned that i hate nicknames (that is except for the gem that is SCHMELTREX)

3. Do you plan to change your name when you get married? i have no plans to get married so that eliminates that problem! that is unless cillian murphy comes a' knockin!

4. If you could become any age you wanted, right now, what age would it be and why? i'm good with 22, it's been good so far. it is the beginning of my academic career, i'm going to turkey and africa with my degree, so things are gravy.

5. Why is (insert your favorite color here) your favorite color? brown, because people constantly underestimate how fabulous it is.

6. If your first choice of careers doesn't work out, what would you choose as a "backup”: probably something with an NGO in africa or the middle east. anything with travel and politics makes me a happy girl.

7. What holiday could you easily do without? easter . . . there is not a single easter special that makes my heart swell with glee! sorry jesus, you just didn't make the cut!

8. Assuming you have a crush on somebody, what is it exactly that you like about him/her? If you don't have a crush, what is the one quality that the person absolutely has to have? cillian murphy is irish and that is plenty good enough for me!

9. What singer or band can you imitate the best? ummm probably alec ounsworth from clap your hands say yeah because i'm good with the voice cracking, twitchy goodtimes.

10. If your life were a book, what genre would it be? non-fiction. someday hopefully it'll be like a hardy robert fisk or robert kaplan. DAMN IT! my parents should have named me robert! i would totally kill the travel journalism/poly sci scene. le sigh.

11. Do you worry about finding your soul mate and getting married? not at all. he's out there somewhere, i'm cool with the wait, it makes things all that more interesting.

12. If you could choose how to die, how would you? i would like to think that as much as a tire necklace would suck, it still sounds like the fucking coolest way to die! i would go out in a literal blaze of glory!

13. If you were the opposite sex for a day, would you have sex with somebody of the same sex that you used to be (ex: if you're a girl and turned into a guy for a day, would you have sex with a girl, and vice versa for guys), and why/why not? it would totally have to be with another guy because there are some positions that i'm confused about. i've been told everything is possible . . . this scenario would mean mystery solved!

FAVORITES
Type of chocolate: milk . . . however, it does result in sweet gastrointestinal pain!
Eye color: green
Dog breed: a cat! preferably named 'chairman meow'.
Period in history: present era
Word to use when you want to sound smart: oh ho ho 'neoimperialism' you have got me through some tough times!
Candle scent: wild honey
Method of communication (in person, telephone, etc): telephone . . . they can't see how socially awkward i am!
Language: my dear farsi!
Famous painting: mark by chuck close.
Weather: a warm summer night
Summer activity: waiting the night/drinking.
Winter activity: waiting for winter to be over.
Computer game: i stick to my nintendo goodtimes! namely, zelda: the ocarina of time!
Boredom-buster: making amazing playlists for friends and fiends alike.
Newspaper comic: get fuzzy is amazing like fuck.
Section in a bookstore: political science or history . . . it's a toss-up
Sex/romantic scene in a movie: when nino and amelie finally meet at her apartment after much chase and intrigue. the kiss on the eyelid, the neck and then the side of the lip . . . the french just know how to do it right.

OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW (NOT JUST YOUR FRIENDS)

The one you can stand for the longest amount of time: i'm pretty anti-social, so i really only like myself.
Wears the funkiest socks: barbara
The activist: barbara . . . you are my emotional hero for the ken epp saga! that or siahra, who will absolutely do great things in the world.
The most boy (or girl) obsessed: kelsey
The horniest: kelsey
The one who you wouldn't care if they disappeared from the face of this earth: i'm pretty zen with everybody. besides, i'm abandoning canada in mere months, so really it is i that will quasi disappear.
The best musician: trevor . . . however, if it was taste in music i got to give chad some serious street cred!
The overachiever: probably me, i annoy pretty much everyone with my school nerditry.
The worst taste in music: keltie . . . sorry my dear!
Needs a life: duncan, he is a workaholic in the worst way.
You absolutely couldn't live without: the mother
The best singer: christine
The most expansive vocabulary: keltie
Has the niftiest house: serena
Has the prettiest handwriting: stephanie
Talks way too much: oh ho ho! me!!!
The one you truly worry about: again with the zen.
Never gets sick, damn them: duncan

EITHER/OR
Elvis or Madonna? elvis.
Green or red? green.
Sci-fi thriller or trashy romance? neither . . . it's non-fiction (or harry potter) or bust!!
Martial arts or yoga? yoga
Lollipop or Hershey's Kiss? lollipop, only because of the whole lactose-intolerant bit.
When you sleep, bedroom door open or closed? open just a crack for the cat. even with her gone, i leave it open, i dunno, just in case or whatevs.
Jacket or sweatshirt? jacket.
Radio or CDs? CDs
Recliner chair or cushion on the floor? my delicious papasan chair/nest.
Bunk bed: top or bottom? bottom
Handwriting or typing? my handwriting . . . because it's like a spy code! no one can read it but me.
Chicken Soup: the book or the food? neither.
Ballet or jazz? jazz

IMAGINED SITUATIONS
1. If babies could talk at birth, what do you think would be the first thing they say? 'allo chaps!! oy! what's with all this brightness and such!?! . . . all babies are born british! tis a shame if you didn't know!

2. If you could read minds, would you enjoy knowing what people were thinking, or would breaching their privacy bother you? Would you consider it a burden to know everyone's innermost thoughts? i'm cool with the mystery of not knowing . . . besides, i would probably become more socially awkward via the power of telekinesis or whatevs!

3. Do you think you could survive in the Middle Ages? i can be pretty sly so i would like to think so.

4. If you knew as a little kid what you know now, what one situation would you choose to do differently? i would probably be the week that keltie and her family went skiing . . . ohh that fateful day with the falling and the breaking and the goat and what not!

5. If you were given the choice to know exactly when, how, and where you would die, would you choose to know? And if you did choose to know, would you try and cheat death? meh, countdowns are always dreadfully stressful things so i'd rather due without. besides i already know it's totally going to be the tire necklace bit!

6. If you got pregnant (guys, just play along) before you were ready, what would you do? Would you ask your parents for help, or keep it from them? i would probably just bash my head against a wall for a solid 10 minutes or until the coma kicks in.

7. Do you think you would enjoy being the opposite sex for the rest of your life? What would be so enjoyable/hellish about it? i'm not going to lie, boys have it easy in the poly sci world . . . i'm a little jealous!

8. If someone came up with an elixir that made you immortal, would you take it? nah. i've seen 'death becomes her' nothing good comes from it.

9. Does the thought of being a vampire appeal to or disgust you? if it involves spike than i'm all for vampirism.

10. If you were given magickal powers to do just one thing, what would you do (besides giving yourself unlimited magickal powers)? it's not really a magical power, i would really like a lot of money so i could do some very good things with it in the world! plus then i could actually afford to travel to the places that i'm heading this year! that or i would be batman! not a magical power but ohh so very close!

11. If you could go back into history and change one thing only, what would you change? the bush/gore election . . . oh yes! that would have resulted in goodtimes abounds!

bonjour

2007-02-12T23:17:00.000-07:00

THIS!!!

tuna fish

2007-02-09T22:15:00.000-07:00

I've been dreaming a lot lately , it's nice as I went through a year of murky figures, washes of grey . . . nothing was really concrete or memorable in my dreams. It was kind of depressing as since as far back as I can remember I have had really bitching dreams, I've been John Luc Bacard, I fought Godzilla, my best friend was impregnated by Tony Danza and danced with My Little Ponys . . . pretty much amazing!

I started dreaming again, or at least, remembering my dreams. However, what is fascinating about my latest bout of dreams is they are all so vivid and real. I dream of my cat. My little nona cat visits me every night, it's an utterly ordinary but truly wonderful. The stuff that dreams should be made of.

Goddammit I miss that crazy old cat.

accoustics

2007-01-27T00:04:00.000-07:00

I was about to go to bed when for the first time in quite a while I am actually feeling compelled to post. Huzzah! Namely, this is because an accusation of the dear schmeltie of me not being 'real' enough lately in my sporadic posts. So, in honor of the schmeltrex, away we go . . . random facts about me:

1. I cry a lot . . . perhaps more than any normal person should. Seriously, I'm like a fucking faucet of sobbing goodtimes, but here's the fun bit, it's normally due to obscenely ill-timed laughter . . . that and pretty much I cry while watching movies. It really doesn't matter what movie it is, at some point, rest assured, I will be crying like a baby. I mean, honestly, I cried many times over in 28 Days Later for fuck's sake!

2. I am convinced that when I am older I will honestly have some impact in the world . . . it does seem unfortunate that it is likely due to my insanity rather than any sort of genius. However, I really do like to cling to the fact that I might be capable of doing something good with my focus in academics . . . this fact often makes me feel like a walking academic clinche.

3. I really believe in true love despite having never experienced first hand. That is, unless, you count my nearly decade-old love of Matthew Good . . . truly, ours is a love that will transcend all time.

4. Sometimes when I'm alone, and by sometimes I mean like all the time, I narrate my life with a British accent . . . if I'm cooking food I sound like Julie goddamn Andrews!! This talking outloud British bit is mostly prominant when I am driving . . . that's where I do all my best thinking. Essentially, the car is my secret place to sort out all my worries and bothers, me and my British self hash out conversations that will potentially end my anxieties . . . mostly these conversations revolve around mock job interviews, grad school schemes and applications. It's that or I just dance . . . A LOT!

5. Finally, I truly believe that running around in an empty house with the music cranked, dancing in my underwear, is the closest I will ever come to having to a religious experience . . . honestly, it's bloody amazing! And all the whilest I'm dancing and running around, I'm laughing like a sodding banshee . . . I highly recommend this and it should be done as often as humanly possible.

SCREW THE BANK I WORK FOR!! SCREW THE BANK!! *dances*

sweet, sweet disco bulge

2006-12-18T23:28:00.000-07:00

So I am pretty much excited as I am in the process of writing my last paper for the semester . . . of course, being true to my nature I waited until the last possible moment to sit down and write. Go out with a bang, mon freres, not a whimper.

This paper, however impossible writing it is seeming to be, has so far been fun and goodtimes abounds as it basically legitmized me watching "Sholay" about fifty-bazillion times. Oh ho ho, it is so very good to my heart. Also, due to the obscene watching of said film I also decided to purchase it . . . ohhh yes, my friends, I am now the proud owner a 70's western Bollywood film. Chest hair, Canadian tuxedos and disco bulge! Oh my!

Jealous!

corporate responsibility is for fools and liberals!

2006-11-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

Le sigh. It appears that tonight I will be a goodtimes kind-of-gal . . . that is if goodtimes means an all-nighter and kind-of-gal is code for please fucking kill me now. Honestly, I hate the final paper push especially when I am tired and devoid of ideas and whatevs. Heyyy who wants to write a paper for me on the impact of Trans-national corporations on human rights?! *jazzy hands*

How could anyone ever say no to jazzy hands?! Oh also maybe it was due yesterday, so could you also provide me with a time machine and a bottle of liquid courage?

Thanks! Byeee!

adventures in awesomeness

2006-11-26T10:46:00.000-07:00

Hallo my brothers. Ohh last night was fun and goodtimes abounds! The Dears were in town and put on a rather enjoyable show as it were. It didn't hold the same frantic energy that I have come to expect and love from my precious Dears . . . perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Murray was sober, and therefore, had the capacity to stand up/remember his lines. I'm not going to lie, some of the magic was in the twinkle of drunken Murray's eye.

TO DA MOON!!!

hungry for the sun

2006-11-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

This past week has been one of the most difficult weeks in memory . . . it's been exhausting and cruel. I lost my cat this week, I had her for 19 years. She was my association of home . . . she's gone and with her that feeling of belonging and fit. I always told people that she was going to live forever and as silly as it sounds, I really had convinced myself that this was, in fact, a possibility.

I need something good to happen. Just a little kindness, that's all.

in view

2006-10-24T21:35:00.000-06:00

Ohhh it's that dreadful time of midterm papers, and therefore, busyness abounds mon freres!! I have pretty much spent the last couple of weeks locked in academia and it's still not over. Fortunetely, thanks to some friends excellently timed birthdays it means a whole lot of drinking to numb the pain.

Oh ho ho, yes it was the schmeltie's birthday on Saturday which means that I was a drunken mess of awesomeness. Also maybe, it is michelle's birthday this coming Friday which means more birthday schnanagin fun! Fuck you acadamia, I have a new love, thy name is Gato Blanco Sauvignon Blanc and we are the best of friends. We wear snotty french berets and laugh at those who are not nearly as snotty as we are . . . and that, my friends, is a whole lot of muthafuckers!

Is it sad that I have managed to convince myself that since the Tragically Hip are coming to town within the week of my 22nd birthday, that is quite obvious that they are coming to town exclusively to celebrate the birth of me?! Could it be any more obvious!! The other 9,999 people that will see the Hip really are just lucky to join my brithday festivities! YAYA!

ADD isn't just for the hipster scum anymore! Neat!

this originates from the heart

2006-10-03T22:24:00.000-06:00

So my mom has decided to nickname me "poot fruit" which is unsettling and creepy . . . it's derived from the phrase "fruit of my loins" and it's reason 1 bazillion hundred why my mom is the coolest muthafucker in the world.

I haven't posted in two weeks because I haven't done anything except for cram more Persian into my brain . . . oh that and I have developed an obsession with cutting my bangs. I've cut them 3 times in the last 2 days . . . I'll have a mullet by Saturday! Neat!

. . . I need a life.

At least I have Jason Collett on Friday and a bright mullet-alious future to look forward to this week! le sigh. Also maybe I will take photos at Jason Collett so that my site isn't riddled with photos of me. Alas, until that time I present you with this gem . . . BANGS!!!

Khodau Hafez bitches!!

yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

2006-09-19T21:33:00.000-06:00

Arrr ye salty landlubbers!! Today is me most favoritest dialetic day of all!! Oh ho ho it is "Talk Like a Pirate Day" . . . which for those sadly not in the know, it is a day to talk like a regular old scallywag! Neato! Pretty much a hardy goodtime is guaranteed on such a day, as well, it's an excuse to drinker like a bloody pisser. Je t'aime.

I really like this photo because I look the lamest pirate evah and I practically have a quasi-pirate mullet . . . if that doesn't scare the peg leg right off of you, I don't know what will. God I need a sodding haircut/money.

Fetch me rum WENCHES!!

lucky foot, other rabbit

2006-09-09T16:08:00.000-06:00

HOLIPISS!! I got the latest Dears album, A Gang of Losers, and ohhh my friends, it is so very good. I think I've played it about eleven-billion times already . . . mostly though because it's a joyful way to block out the sound of raging hammers on my roof. Roof construction is like a modern form of Chinese water torture . . . pretty much every half-an-hour or so my head explodes with rage and I shake my fist at the sky like a crotchety old man. Curse those meddling hammers I say!

Also maybe, since I have a blissful day off I have decided to treat myself to some Asian cinema goodtimes at the Metro cinema complete with a dash of back row creepiness. I need to buy myself a Warhol-esque wig so to complete my vision of pure back row perverseness. Ha! Jealous! Seriously, I will be the best of friends with Hiroshi Teshigahara and his avant-garde Japanese cinema and we will eat pocky and giggle and whatevs. Neat!

the zombie christ

2006-09-07T22:24:00.000-06:00

So after a weekend of drunken debotchery and awesomeness abounds, I have returned to lovely academia. Oh ho ho, it shall be a semester of nerdy goodtimes with courses in Persian, human rights, globalization and Asian popular cinema . . . JOY!!! J'aime le ecole. Ohh my brothers, I love Persian because I get extra credit just for watching Kiarostami films . . . it feels the same to my heart as if someone agreed to pay me to play Zelda. That would be muthafucking amazing! Amazing I say!!

Seriously, I will start accepting offers for the Zelda AND I will throw in my friendship to sweeten the deal. It's a two-for-one in sheer Christmas Day miracles!!

Also of interest, is the fact that ever since the blessed Croc Hunter, Steve Irwin, met his untimely death, I have been having zombie nightmares. Every night the dreams become more disturbing and zombie-ridden, of which, has lead me to one conclusion . . . Steve Irwin is the sweet zombie messiah!!

Lord have mercy!

i heart nyc

2006-09-03T13:30:00.000-06:00

Ladies and gents, I give you New York City . . . it's filthy and wonderful and I miss it terribly. Le sigh.

i want to grow up to be the harbinger of the apocalypse

2006-09-02T00:31:00.000-06:00

Oh my muthafucking god!! Space Ghost is on right now!! SPPPPPAAAAACEEEE GHOOOOSSSTTTTT!!!!!!!11! My heart is exploding with glee right now as we speak . . . especially because it has Zorac's nephew Raymond, the lone Mantus of the Apocalypse. Amazing! Basically, it completes a wonderfully bizarre day which included me attending Sabbath dinner, of which, was awkward/fun as I am not Jewish and knew no one there . . . however, they were all drunk so I fit in just fine. Oh ho ho, shalom indeed!

total eclipse of the heart

2006-08-31T13:42:00.000-06:00

I am an excited girl as the new Vogue fall fashion edition is out. This of course means I will be spending the next couple of hours pouring over the delicate pages of Vogue and my head exploding with glee!! I miss New York. I miss Miu Miu and Burberry and all the pretty, pretty things. Le sigh.

Maybe later today I will post some photos from Manhattan as I have yet to do that because I suck at life. Neat!

TO DA MOON!

to be completed with the rest of the world

2006-08-30T16:51:00.000-06:00

After watching King Kong I have reminded myself why I should never, under any circumstances, watch any movie with dinosaurs in it around any living soul. Ohh god, I screamed and clapped my hands like a small child with autisism . . . there also may or may not have been raptor noises involved. le sigh, NERD!

Today was awesomeness abounds, namely, because I went out and got my school supplies for the rapidly approaching school semester. There is something about purchasing my color coded coil notebooks that fill my heart with glee . . . pathetic indeed. Ohhh Hilroy, I love you and your capacity to meet all my academic needs. Je t'aime. When you're a shut in you take the greatest joy in the smallest of things . . . jealous!

i'm a lumberjack and that's okay

2006-08-28T22:08:00.000-06:00

Bleh, I am so retchedly bored and lonely right now. Namely, because the mombles is out of town so there is a lack of persons to torment in the house. I'm so lame it hurts my small intestine like fuck! Ohhh self-pitying mode abounds!

To pretend like I am rockstar awesome cool I am going to have a glass of wine whilest watching King Kong and talk to myself in a British accent that sounds suspiciously like John Cleese. Because he is awesome and it'll make me sound all sophisicated like. Oh ho ho! Jealous!

Why yes. Yes I did put on my sunglasses to make me feel more rockstar . . . ohhh snap!

futon woman!

2006-08-22T22:26:00.000-06:00

Ohhh my brothers there is the most amazingest thunderstorm raging about outside. So to fully enjoy this Christmas Day miracle I am soon off to my deck to sit and watch the storm whilest listening to The Doors or Pink Floyd on real low and gentle and whatevs. It'll be awesome . . . that is until my ADHD kicks in and then I'll retire inside to watch THE MUTHAFUCKING EXORCIST ON A MUTHAFUCKIN' PLANE! It will be awesome because a major case of the wiggins is the new black. Ha! Jealous!

Also the other day out and about with the Smeltrex and her boy, Lava, I happened to taken the most awesome emo Myspace photo of myself EVAH!! Katrina prepare yourself for your head to explode!!

pysanka? more like lamesanka!

2006-08-12T21:54:00.000-06:00

This last week has been one of joy and splender! My two most favoritest things!! Firstly, I finished off my time in New York with fun and goodtimes . . . namely, I saw a little thing called the French Kicks at the Bowery Ballroom. Ohhh j'aime French Kicks . . . excuse me whilest I swoon. The rest of the time in the Big Apple was spent with my little compatriots, Jamez and Cindy Loo. Fun and goodtimes abounds!

I returned Wednesday to my blessed Edmonton, a bipolar kitty and an disinterested dog and all the normallities of the life of me. It feels bizarre to have been doing crazy things for three weeks and then return right back to the grind . . . where was my gradual rehabilitation to real life bits or whatevs?! Although to make me feel less with the fish-out-of-water bit, my friends took me to Vegreville on Saturday. Upon which they proceeded to get me drunk by noon and then took me by the giant egg . . . lude comments were made regarding the pysanka. I was an asshole tourist, it brought me back to better times. That and I got to eat caramel apples under tractors to pass the time!! Ha! Jealous!

Also I did this yesterday!! SHABAMM!!!

Now I can look artistic and moody like all the time!! All the muthafucking time I say! Neat!

incurring the old lady wrath

2006-07-28T10:27:00.000-06:00

So last night I was a total rage-aholic at this poor Welsh bloke. His snoring sounded like a drunk rhinosaurus with imploded innerds was struggling to cling onto its fading life . . . essentially it was deeply annoying and wanted nothing more than for him to sod off and die! Everytime the poor bastard would disrupt my sleep (through my blessed ear plugs) I would get up and shake him until he woke up and then proceeded to shoot lazerbeams out of my eyes. I did this every half an hour with no avail. le sigh. I am exhausted and bitter and resentful and what not.

Basically I want to destroy all things that are snoring and noisy beasts when I am trying to sleep because I am old and sleep is one of my greatest joys.

Today I plan on thrift shopping across Manhattan . . . apparently right near by my hostel there are some really nifty thift shops of which I will become the best of friends with and we will live happily evah after. Sorry schmeltie that means you are out because fashion has no muthafucking mercy!!

I am off for good times and adventure!! Take care all my little poppets!

prime minister is another term for colonial domination

2006-07-27T10:13:00.000-06:00

Ohhh my goodness the last week in New York has been a bloody gong show!! I have made some crazy little hostel buddies, of which, are the source of all things trouble and fun-like or whatevs.

Basically, I have spent the last few days doing small touristy things in the morning followed by some serious shopping to get the cheesy taste of tourism off of my palate. Cursed Sephora!! I have spent so much there and I have only been here for one week! The shopping is then met up with some dinner and drinks with my hostel friends . . . the British combined with Canadians is a fine fit for a good evening. It's especially awesome when they can use the awesome powers of a posh accent to wrangle us free drinks and in the case of last night a free ride in a limo to a club in the Meatpacking District!! HOLIPISS!!

Last night was quite possibly the most bizarre evening as Katrina ended up chatting up some random guys on a patio which promptly lead to him calling his limo to give us a ride to a club on the opposite end of town . . . I looked like a total banshee freak when the car actually pulled up!! Ohhh my, indeed! Following that was some drunken goodtimes discussing the colonial aspects of Canadian culture and politics and whatevs . . . ohhh NERDS!

Peace out my little homeslices!

walking with a swagger

2006-07-21T14:03:00.000-06:00

Hallo my brothers!! I am currently posting from the GREAT BEYOND . . . that or New York City or whatevs. Ohhh my, I love it here so much it makes my heart explode with glee and my intestines gush nothing but love.

The flight here was a bloody gong show as I am a pent-up banshee who sobbed like a small child upon saying farewell to my mother . . . there was mockery via the airline staff. Neat! However I managed to survive the flight despite horrifying visions of snakes on the plane! MUTHAFUCKER! The greatest part about arriving is the discovering that humidity is the devil, and therefore by default, all things to do with the subway and it's delicious AC is wonderful and radtacular.

Last night was also awash with goodtimes and grossness . . . a seemingly intimate pair in Manhattan. I went with a crazy Danish lady from the hostel to a rap festival down by the Brooklyn Bridge . . . ohh yes it was fun and goodtimes abounds! Namely, because the band was the Sugar Hill Cult of the rapping grandma in the Wedding Singer fame. It was friggin' awesome! After the concert and plenty of beer, Mei and I walked across to the pier to the Bodies exhibit which is the producer of the wiggins and all things creepy-like . . . so many bodies in a small, small space. It was interesting/vomit inducing. Naturally, of course, despite it being an exhibit of sheer creepiness it didn't stop me from laughing like a banshee when I noticed that the penis of one of the bodies was missing . . . ohhh social awkwardness bless your soul.

Anyways friends and Romans, I am off to seek adventure or perhaps some nice Channa Masala.

TO DA MOON!

take my friendship gold

2006-07-12T22:59:00.000-06:00

I feel like Goro, of Mortal Kombat fame, has ripped out my spine, slammed it repeatedly against the wall and then put it back into my body.

Basically, I desperately want more pain meds for my crippled spine, and more so, I really want to be playing some bloody Mortal Kombat II . . . which, let's be honest here was the greatest of all!! Namely, because I had discovered an awesome attack with the purple fan-blade chick that practically let me destroy the muthafucking world! Ohhhh NERD!

Despite my literal lameness I am looking forward to the next following days because I get to hang out with my favoritest of brothers: le b and the grand schmeltrex. Also since espresso is involved I will be the happiest of girls . . . my grin will split the coast in half. Also on the list of happy things is the fact in exactly one week I will be on my way to New York!! Ohhh ho ho urban bliss!! Unfortunetely that leaves me with a week to figure out which CDs are vital to my happiness for three weeks . . . it is pretty sad that my greatest stress about leaving revolves around compiling my music collection into 3 weeks worth of awesomeness. Ummm so far I've determined I need all things Matthew Good, The Velvet Underground and The Flaming Lips . . . after that it's all jumbled-like and difficult and whatevs.

My babysssssss I loves them all!!!

scowling from the darkest corner

2006-07-07T22:34:00.000-06:00

Ohhh it is a time of sheer glee! GLEE I SAY!! Everything has come together to formulate the most perfectly radtacular evening . . . namely, C.R.A.Z.Y. finally came out on DVD, of which, I now righteously have in my possession. Oh yes, it's French Canadian cinema at it's finest! I command everyone to watch it or suffer my wrath. THAT or maybe I'll just paint my face up all Bowie-like and scowl at you from the darkest of corners . . . picture it: the mullet, the lightening bolt, the horror.

Also I have found a 7-11 that carries banana slurpees which tastes like a liquid banana medicine fantasy come true (of which I have several). So now I shall commence my liquid sugar banana slurpee diet . . . it will either kill me or make me a God. I'll hoping for the latter.

I look like a pile of white-trash retardation . . . AWESOME!!!

Je regret.

sitting in the parking lot

2006-07-06T22:10:00.000-06:00

Awesome!! Just plain awesomeness!! A documentary is on right now about Hitler's final days in the bunker . . . ohhh soo fascinating. Naturally, I've read the accounts of the last days within the bunker but this has film! RANDOM FILM STOCK WITH NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ACTUAL TOPIC!!!! "Look that guy said something about a tree!! Cue random war film stock with a tree in it!" Oh ho ho, World War II film stock, you crazy old bastard, je t'aime.

. . . it's a good thing school is starting quasi-soon as I am desperately in need for excuses to read books about Hitler and Stalin. For some reason or another people look at you like you're one sick muthafucker when you leisurely read books about dictators. World War II is the hostess with the mostest, okay?!!?! Currently, I have a Stalin biography calling out my name from my bookshelf . . . it tells me in a thick Georgian accent that it is full of interesting facts about the crazy little bugger and whispers sweet drunken paranoid nothings in my ear.

le sigh, I apparently need to get a life. I think that maybe people should email me [chelsaurusrex@hotmail.com] because I am bored, of which, I shall respond with witty banter or rap songs or dead baby jokes or whatevs. Ohhh snap, I'm bored.

'allo tink

2006-06-28T21:31:00.000-06:00

Oh ho ho!! P. J. Hogan's Peter Pan is on which is quite possibly the greatest movie EVAH!! It makes me want to be British and a kid and adventurous . . . essentially, it's the kind of thing that leads to nothing but trouble. Namely, schenanagians with a space man constructed entirely out of tin foil . . . his name is Duffy, he is awesome and I love him despite the fact that the wretched soul is infested with spiders.

Also maybe sometimes a girl just wishes she had a hook useful for all sorts of things like disembowelling. Pan is awesomeness abounds indeed!!

a liberal fool

2006-06-20T22:07:00.000-06:00

Today I am picking up the pieces of my broken heart. Matthew Good, Broken Social Scene and Feist are all playing at the Calgary Music Festival . . . naturally, they are playing when I am away in New York. Curse you fates!!

le sigh.

For the past two weeks I have been drowning in monotony with the working full time and dreadful lack of school boredom and what not. At least to assist in mending my pitiful ways I will get my rock on to Buck 65 tomorrow . . . ohhh yes, I will rap along like none other! That and I am going to play a lot of Zelda. Oh ho ho and I do mean A LOT! Summer is for fools and liberals.

Fin.

dahmer brings out the best in all of us

2006-06-08T21:47:00.000-06:00

Keltie Samantha says:

I JUST TOTALLY FRIED THE WASHING MACHINE ON MY FLOOR

Keltie Samantha says:

FUCK

chelsaurus rex says:

what did you do?!!

Keltie Samantha says:

I overloaded the damn thing

chelsaurus rex says:

BLAME JORDAN, WHATEVER YOU DID BLAME JORDAN!!!

Keltie Samantha says:

When I came to check on the cycle, the room smelled like burning, and the machine refused to start again

chelsaurus rex says:

hahaha!!

Keltie Samantha says:

So I did what I do best...panic!!!

chelsaurus rex says:

seriously collect some stray Jordo hairs and place them strategically around the laundry room

Keltie Samantha says:

I wrung out the load as best as I could, and took it to the third floor machine. Which is bigger. And tossed everything in there.

Keltie Samantha says:

But in the meantime, the floor has two inches of water on it, and there are about a million panic-stricked watery footsteps going from my apt to the laundry room

Keltie Samantha says:

I LOOK GUILTY

Keltie Samantha says:

I AM GUILTY

Keltie Samantha says:

GUILT

Keltie Samantha says:

THE GUILT

chelsaurus rex says:

ROOMMATE = BLAMEE

Keltie Samantha says:

lol

chelsaurus rex says:

you don't seem to understand how ideal your set up is

Keltie Samantha says:

I'm not that worried, actually

Keltie Samantha says:

The room has a drain, and I mopped up the remaining water

chelsaurus rex says:

but keltie the stray hairs are TEXAS GOLD!

Keltie Samantha says:

Our hair looks almost exactly the same

chelsaurus rex says:

I know but his are shorter . . . oh! maybe you could put a few pieces of pork in the room too!! THEN IT CAN'T BE YOU!!

Keltie Samantha says:

If I fry the washer downstairs, I'm sooooo dead

Keltie Samantha says:

I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH LOONIES TO SPLIT THE LOAD

chelsaurus rex says:

haha

Keltie Samantha says:

lol

Keltie Samantha says:

God, I cannot beleive I did that!

chelsaurus rex says:

you are my emotional hero!

Keltie Samantha says:

And I'm going to deny it till my dying day. I cant afford to replace that thing!!!

chelsaurus rex says:

I give up trying to explain how to implicate Jordan . . . it's in God's hands now

Keltie Samantha says:

Oh? AND THE WORSRT PART??? I'm washing towels and sheets. THE THINGS THAT ABSORB WATER

chelsaurus rex says:

or as I prefer it . . . THE DEVIL!

Keltie Samantha says:

Have you got ANY idea how fucking HEAVY wet towels and sheets are??????

chelsaurus rex says:

heck yes!

Keltie Samantha says:

I had to make two trips

Keltie Samantha says:

WATER DRIPPING EVERYWHERE IN THE MEANTIME

Keltie Samantha says:

I should break things more often...if I get away with it, I'll be golden

chelsaurus rex says:

yes . . . break more things if you sneak anyway with this and then kill people. SEE HOW IT GOES, WHO KNOWS!?!!! wacky fun!

chelsaurus rex says:

. . . I've been a shut in, my sarcasm is on overdrive!!

Keltie Samantha says:

Chel. I broke an ancient laundry machine. Its not THAT slippery of a slope

chelsaurus rex says:

that's what Dahmer said

Keltie Samantha says:

LMAO

Keltie Samantha says:

Awesome. Just awesome.

chelsaurus rex says:

everything to do with Dahmer is comedic gold!

Keltie Samantha says:

True nuff

Keltie Samantha says:

Rarely do I break into actual laughter when msn-ing. But that was priceless.

chelsaurus rex says:

yessss!!!

chelsaurus rex says:

in my heart "We are the Champions" is playing

Keltie Samantha says:

I kinda want to put this convo on my blog

chelsaurus rex says:

go nuts . . . welcome to the cop out MSN blog post, I loves them

Keltie Samantha says:

I can't!

Keltie Samantha says:

Then everyone will know what I did!

Keltie Samantha says:

WWDD

Keltie Samantha says:

I'm going to hell

Keltie Samantha says:
What Would Dahmer Do

chelsaurus rex says:
hahaha!!!

i loves you devil

2006-06-06T20:02:00.000-06:00

Hallo my brothers, I have returned to my darling internet and its whoring cousin cable TV. Amazing! My time away was spent doing great and wonderous things. Namely, I was tanning and reading JPod with psychotic fervour after which I have spent several hours convincing myself that I am not a high-functioning autistic. Ohhh the psychosis that ensued. THANK YOU Doug Coupland!!

Honestly, I still haven't quite convinced myself that I am not, in fact, autistic. Extreme dislike of personal contact, hyperacuity, facial blindness . . . oh the list goes on my friends.

I have decided that today I shall rededicate my blog to the devil in honour of 6/6/6. That and also, I am preparing a CD of the greatest songs devoted to the devil of which I will blast as I wander the streets aimlessly. Ohh yes, I shall shout at the devil . . . or at the very least, my creepy neighbour with his small, small dog.

the land of plenty and miracles

2006-05-24T14:04:00.000-06:00

So I haven't been posting as of late because I have been a shut-in/lazy git or whatevs. But that, mon freres, has all changed because today was a day of sweet, sweet glory . . . it was a little something I like to call sushi and shopping abounds avec le schmeltrex. Namely, I dragged her to Urban Outfitters which is the land of plenty and shoes and miracles and whatevs. Also, and perhaps the greatest bit of all, is the ragingly gay sales reps. My favorite was the guy who told schmelt that the pair of smashing slingbacks she was trying on were "super comfortable". Of course, he knew from far too personal of experience . . . I love him like none other!

Ohh my, the deals we found . . . I am excited girl because I snagged myself a pair of white Con high tops for 16 dollars!! Ha! Jealousy!! Having a pair of white high tops pretty much completes my dreams of being a white trash muthafucker! The world is mine for the taking . . . MINE I SAY!

Another source for happiness is the fact that I have decided to get myself contacts so I can wear oversized rockin awesome sunglasses which mock society with the enormity of their UV protection!

Also maybe I am watching "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" and the punchlines are so cheesy it makes my HEAD EXPLODE with awesomeness!! "I think the premiere is going to be a 'blast'" followed by some severe eyebrow waggling. Fuck you!

this boat is obviously sinking

2006-05-22T21:50:00.000-06:00

Ha!! There is a thunderstorm . . . it's only my most favoritest thing about summer!! Oh ho ho I'm off to go watch the greatness!!

TO DA MOON!

jiggy with the nile virus

2006-05-17T22:19:00.000-06:00

Ohhh my brothers, I just got back from a sunset bicycle ride . . . sounds like fun until one considers the abundant mosquito population. ABUNDANT INDEED!! Not only have I come out of this bike ride with about a bazillion bites but also, most likely, a hardy case of West Nile . . . brain swelling here I come!! Neat!

communism is the source of plaque

2006-05-17T15:01:00.000-06:00

Ohhhh my, the last couple of days I have been an emotional ball of stress . . . everything set me off either a screaming fit of rage or a sobbing ball of awesome! It's mostly because my cat is sick so all my energy has been focused on making her feel better and comfortable and whatnot.

Today we took her to the vet to diagnose the problem, she has bad teeth . . . they are infected and spreading communist propaganda throughout her entire little body. Tomorrow the little bit is getting surgery to remove the commie teeth, which adds to my whole crazy stress bit because she's so old and frail and awesome. She clawed the fuck out of me on the way to the vet, the cat's a bloody fighter so I'm sure she'll be fine.

To take my mind off of the stress-like goodtimes I have decided to devote my day to watching Buffy and hanging out with my cat. Nice weather be damned . . . Buffy is calling!

CUTENESS EXPLOSION!!

ohhh yes

2006-05-15T07:55:00.000-06:00

The Strokes are tonight!! Posting later, head explosion now . . . that or me running around my house in my underwear dancing like amazing!

pirate whores and trannies

2006-05-13T20:44:00.000-06:00

Ohhh Rocky Horror Picture Show . . . be still my heart!

blog couture

2006-05-10T00:25:00.000-06:00

also because taking up space in my blog is fun . . .

chelsaurus rex says:
CANADA IS BRING LEPROSY TO AMERICA!!!

strenge fruit says:
OH SNAP HOW DID THEY FIND OUT!?

strenge fruit says:
MY BOOKSHELF IS NOW DELICIOUSLY SINFUL!

strenge fruit says:
My mentor teacher gave me a Jesus-book called "The Purpose Driven Life" and I tucked it between "Good Omens" and gay smut! >D

strenge fruit says:
Well, gay detective novels actually! XD

chelsaurus rex says:
haha

chelsaurus rex says:
YOU ARE MY HERO!!

chelsaurus rex says:
this is going on my blog

strenge fruit says:
I have the weirdest damn assortment of books. XD;

chelsaurus rex says:
the coolest is what I think you meant to say mon frere

strenge fruit says:
hmm?

chelsaurus rex says:
gay detective novels, the closest thing I have to that awesomeness is Plato's Republic . . . that has a WHOLE lot of gay!! ohhh Socrates when will you learn

strenge fruit says:
OH MAN I SHOULD LEND THEM TO YOU THEY ARE SO HORRIBLE!

strenge fruit says:
IT'S ALL LIKE "OH I LOVE YOU MY GAY HAIRY MAN LET'S HATE LESBIANS BECAUSE THEY ARE EVIL MANHATERS WHO SELFHATE TOO!"

strenge fruit says:
AND THE LESBIANS ARE ALL "I HATE YOU LET'S BLOW UP AN ABORTION CLINIC KTHNXBAI"

chelsaurus rex says:
AMAZING!!

. . . basically, B is my emotional hero.

rockadile tales

2006-05-09T23:58:00.000-06:00

I am about to go to bed because I am pathetic and old. That or awesome! I am actually excited for tomorrow because it holds great promise . . . I get to go shopping for great things like a dress and silver shoes because they are sexy and amazing and tacky or whatevs. My friends, I have to admit that I have become a cute shoe whore!! I can't stop myself . . . everything revolves arounds shoes. It's a slippery slope, isn't schmeltie?

Mostly I am excited because I have decided to get myself a lovely little ascott hat for good health and mind-like. It shall be used in a grand plot to be the coolest person evah . . . that and for goodtimes at The Strokes and outfit abounds! Also, I require new glasses because mine are old and make my skin melt with hatred for them. Essentially I am completely allergic to saving money, it's like sweet sweet pet dander. Neat!

I am off because my cat is killing me with her abundant cuteness/claws of impatience!

OH MY GOD!!

drunklor vs tokyo

2006-05-08T19:34:00.000-06:00

Ohh my brothers, I am filled with nerdy glee!! Tonight I shall rent movies of sappy greatness . . . perhaps that will mean a little something I like to call "The Notebook". Oh ho ho!! Sappiness indeed! Most likely I'll get there and be filled with too much embrassment and just get something indie and amazing. That or I'll do some sewing or whatevs. ADD is fun for the whole family!

I think I am shooting for wholesome bits because of the drunkeness of this weekend, it's that whole attempt to put the universe into balance or whatevs. I was around abounds on Saturday getting a whole lot of drunk in celebration of Neville Helmet Hotbottom. Needless to say, I drank . . . A LOT!! Perhaps the greatest part was me screaming at Beau's band about the end of Suffragette City . . . Duuuude, you HAVE to scream 'suffragette' like one mean muthafucker or it's lacking a whole lot of awesome. Naturally, I discussed this matter with the band with elegance and grace. That or it was me leaning over in a drunken mess and talked/yelled at Beau.

At this point I think I was screaming about the Olive Garden based exclusively on the Principal Skudworth hand gesture.

Je regrette.

jungle fevah!

2006-05-03T22:12:00.000-06:00

Do you know what is amazing and fantastical??!!? When your sodding computer crashes just as you're about to press the 'publish post' button . . . fuck you irony!! This is just adding to my general PMS rage. Oh yes and raging indeed!!

Soooo here we go again . . . attempt to post number 2:

Today anything that came within a 5 meter radius of me was declared an enemy and they had to die. Ohhh poor mombles, she had the misfortune of shopping with me and my sheer assery . . . I almost cried in aisle 6 over her selection of bread. It was round, whereas, I prefer the goodtimes of the traditional rectangle loaf. Round loafs are for misfits and hobos!

Aside from wishing sweet, sweet death on anything that fucking moved, I spent my day planning my trip to New York. Everything is quasi-prepared, you know, except for the money bit and the actually getting there . . . minor details really! Mostly I am excited for when I get there, I am starting my month-long stay in the Chelsea district. I am starting there in the hopes of snagging me a gay boyfriend, then my lifelong dream of checking out guys with another guy can be fulfilled!! Fun and goodtimes abounds!! In my head my new boyfriend is french and carries a bagette with him EVERYWHERE!!

I shall name him Pierre and he is snippy and I love him.

tiny cities of ashes

2006-04-30T19:31:00.000-06:00

When I post pictures or cartoons it's basically an excuse to not post anything with substance. Laziness is fun and neat!! Jealous!

delish

2006-04-29T21:49:00.000-06:00

So the past couple of days have been spent the way any summer holiday should be . . . namely, with shopping. A lot of shopping. Ohhh joys!

Friday was fun and goodtimes abounds as me and schmeltrex rocked it old school on Whyte Ave. Oh ho ho, there was much oogling abounds at pretty things that I cannot afford but proceed to have inapproperiate fantasies about. Ohhh my campers, one day you will be mine and I will rue the day!! Mostly though, we tried on rockstar oversized sunglasses and hats, of which, I have discover that I am not an Olsen sunglasses-like person but I happen to rock an ascott like one mean muthafuckah! I must have one . . . it shall be my New York fasionista hat and everyone will be completely jealous. Jealous I say!!

Alas, I left Whyte Ave with little to show for except for some blank cards to add to my stash of awesome . . . well that and the campers fantasties. Le sigh.

Today my bank card went out in a blaze of glory as I went shopping with Michelle. Oh yes, I went to Urban Outfitters, and yes yes, I found the shoe/purse miracles!! These are my new babies . . . love them like I love them:

Holy mother of God!!! HEAD EXPLOSION!!!

Love them or I will crush you!!

I am off to put on the The Strokes and dance around in a wifebeater and my new darling shoes because that's what awesome does. Indeed!

welcoming distraction

2006-04-24T21:17:00.000-06:00

Amazing!! Thank you birthday boy for pointing out this source of happiness!!

ohhh joyfulness

2006-04-24T18:50:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow contains my last exam for this semester!! Of course, this very happy realization struck me while I was driving around today . . . amazingly enough it resulted in a grin that threatened to split my face in half. The streets will run red with blood and happiness.

If my face does, in fact, stay intact following my exam, I plan to celebrate the goodtimes by watching Evil Dead, Evil Dead II and The Army of Darkness. Following that I am going to walk around outside yelling at strangers about various things like boomsticks and whatnot. Neat!

Studying abounds!!

i think i will start with your heart

2006-04-23T19:14:00.000-06:00

Ohhh my, business abounds with the few fatal days of school remaining. Ahh studying followed by a whole lot of drinking . . . A WHOLE LOT. Neat!

Mostly, I am excited tonight as I am taking a break from the whole studying bit to rock out to some Flaming Lips fun and goodtimes abounds. The new album, "At War With the Mystics," is in my possession . . . now all I need to do is turn down the lights and turn the volume way, way up. Ohh happiness is a new Flaming Lips moment.

TO DA MOON!!!

something like a phenomenon

2006-04-16T22:21:00.000-06:00

I just finished watching The Lord of The Rings, ohhh boredom abounds. Seriously, everytime I have watched that movie I wait with anticipation for Sam to lean over and TOTALLY make out with Frodo . . . sexual tension you could cut with a knife.

Je regrete.

trapped in nerditry

2006-04-15T18:31:00.000-06:00

Ohhh my, I am having more fun with my sewing machine. Today I have decided to make a purse out of this killer teal velvet I picked up the other day. Ohh how I love teal!! This is beginning of my newest creation . . . well, THAT and a beautiful friendship:

I have the amazingly tacky gold polyester which will be the liner for this purse. Therefore, with the velvet and polyester it's pretty much the material equilivalent of a cheap French pimp, so I have decided to name it 'Leroy'. Amazing! Le sigh, at some point I should do some studying for finals. Lameness abounds. I'm fairly certain that all this sewing is denial for the evitiable studying badness.

This post has made everyone who isn't me bored. Fuck you!

destroying the universe one purse at a time

2006-04-14T22:30:00.000-06:00

Last night I drank myself into quite a stupor. It was goodtimes abounds, mostly because I could constantly take pictures of myself and pass it off as overt drunkness instead of the sad acutality, which is, that I am a raging egomaniac . . . honestly, it's quite pathetic/awesome. I have decided that I shall name my ego 'Murray' and we are best friends and I love him.

I am pretty much lametastic.

Unfortunetely this morning my ego couldn't cushion the blow of a hangover. Ohh it was like the world had repeatly smashed me in the face with a numerous blunt objects of varying widths and density. To avoid the severe head explosion pain that the sun induced, I committed myself to my sewing room. Ohhh it was such a happy reunion with Phasoom, we had been apart for far too long because of school and general badness. It was like everything fit together perfectly. I had the fabric and supplies I wanted, which never seems to happen, and inspiration came easily. It was easy to slip into the routine . . . ohh my brothers, it felt amazing to do something creative. Happiness!

I made this fantastical purse of Christmas Day miracles. It makes the world look brighter and happier, everything is better now that I have this purse. I shall call it "One Day I Shall Destroy the Universe". Amazing! The inside liner is red and has a pocket with a felt rifle on it . . . basically, it fills my heart with joy.

2006-04-11T19:46:00.000-06:00

nature boy

2006-04-11T19:33:00.000-06:00

Today I feel like there should be a small blues quartet following me around everywhere I go so I can be mysterious and noir and awesome or whatevs. Mostly I think this would be a great idea as it would distract people from looking at me as I haven't showered, done my makeup or slept yet. Ohhh yes, it's a stellar/slightly smelly look . . . I think it'll totally be the next big thing in fashion. Look for the academic zombie and remember that I am your hero. Ha! Jealous!

I'm off to go find that blues quartet . . . chances are I'm going to be settling for Miles Davis on my discman and wandering around outside in a sullen quest for brains.

Braaaaaaaiinns.

i am a superhero

2006-04-06T17:56:00.000-06:00

So I have decided that I am going to learn how to ride a bike again this summer. Ohhh it has been years, mon freres. For those who say it's "just like riding a bike" with all sorts of mundane whatevs . . . fuck you!! Those things are sodding death traps, and yet, I am oddly intrigued to have something mobile with a cheesy basket. Ohh yes there will be a basket or sweet, sweet death.

I will apologize to my femur now because I'm fairly certain there is going to be some breaking or snapping goodtimes. Le sigh.

TO DA MOON!!

dance muthafuckah!

2006-04-04T22:14:00.000-06:00

Ohh my I have had a hectic week . . . school and brain implosion. Neat!!

Today I was a lazy git, it was pretty much amazing. I walked around Edmonton enjoying spring and that far out sound. Ohhh my brothers, it was so lovely, I forgot that the sun has warmth!!! When I got home I made the bestest salad evah. Spinach, strawberries, kiwi, pears, coconut and strawberry vingarette, how lovely!! I'm telling you this because it's pretty much the most exciting thing I've done all week . . . pathetic indeed. Well, that and getting the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs CD, "Show Your Bones", which caused me to have a hardy rock out dance fest. Man, I'm so awkwardly cool.

Sometimes when I get really bored I pretend to be a ninja . . . this is one of those times.

Je regrete.

this is my heart

2006-03-28T16:49:00.000-07:00

chelsey: that dog is a frickin' conehead.

mom: don't be mean to your little brother.

chelsey: mom, did he come from your vagina?

mom: he came from the heart of my vagina.

Ohhh my!!!

someday i want to be like them

2006-03-27T16:27:00.000-07:00

Today is one of those days where I feel like running around and sighing really loud while talking about how important or busy I am. Of course, I can't actualize this awesomeness because I am, in fact, busy today. I have awoke from a nap and then studying abounds!!

I am tired and giddy from last night and the goodtimes abounds at the Metro cinema. As it turns out I am a sodding git who cannot figure out how to read movie listings, instead of going to "The Day a Pig Fell Into the Well" I ended up going to "Samurai Rebellion" . . . ohh my brothers, it was amazing!! It is my heart my friends, my heart. Naturally, after watching a film of such glory I felt like running around downtown attacking people samurai style . . . one day I am going to be knifed for the effluent properties of my coolness.

Later tonight I am off to the Fait Accomplit party of which everybody should go to or we can no longer be friends. It's going to be at Dewey's so that means you can be a drunken beast . . . also, and quite possibly the greatest part of all, I will be there looking awesome/artsy, or more likely, looking tipsy and socially awkward. Neat!! Get awesome with me at 7 in Dewey's or it means war!!

Extremely loud sigh.

i cannot fall asleep

2006-03-26T20:22:00.000-07:00

I am off to the movies!! Ohh yes, it shall be that whole creepy loner awesomeness bit . . . just me, the back row of the metro and all whole lot of korean cinema goodtimes!!

Jealous!!

i am jack's smirking revenge

2006-03-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

indie as fuck

2006-03-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

Ohhh Jason Collett, be still my heart.

tear gas tears

2006-03-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

. . . I had coffee right before the show; still hands and the resultant focused photographs are for suckers I say!!

Ohhh my brothers this is a glorious week for rock indeed!! Last night was the Matthew Good Accoustic Solo show . . . ohh le sigh, it was awesomeness embodied. I went with my most favoritest Matthew Good friends, namely, Sean, Chad, Stephanie, Casey and Curtis. Also, Chad's dad was there who is cooler than all of us . . . neat! Ohhh my, the rock out grin of proclaimed lameness busted its way out early into the set . . . how could it not? I was front row center, there was Matthew and all my Matthew friends. Awesomeness indeed. So many songs of amazingness . . . Sort of a Protest Song, Fated, So Long Mrs. Smith. HEAD EXPLODESSSSS!!!!

Dude, my eyes are practically melting from the awesomeness/grossiness of this picture . . . Matt Good fans are the coolest people EVAH!

Currently, I am dancing around my room listening to Johnny Cash. Well, that and getting ready for the Jason Collett show . . . mostly I'm awesome with the dancing though. Ha! Jealous! I am an excited for Jason Collett, I hope against all hope that he does his cocky/retarded Mick Jagger dance. Oh ho ho, it is just that muthafucking good! Also, the venue that will be containing this goodtime is the land of rum and happiness . . . it much pretty guarantees awesomeness for Chelsey.

Singing seems to help a troubled soul so I'm off to do just that my brothers . . . that or dance. Whatevs.

Peace out homes!

sasky lapper

2006-03-18T12:22:00.000-07:00

** Edit: I used to have a quote from Batman under this picture but it came off looking cheesy and completely emo if you didn't get the reference . . . then again, if you didn't understand the reference I pretty much would hate you anyways because I heart all things Batman. Whatevs.

Oh ho ho I have just returned from dancing in the snow . . . nerdiness abounds!! Everything was wonderful and fresh and I was dancing like a banshee amongst the powder. When I move melted snow drips off my head and reminds me how fucking cool I am!! Ohhh jealousy.

I have come up with a genius way to spend my day . . . I'm going to wear an obscene amount of layers of varying knits and degrees of awesome, light a fire downstairs, sit around listening to the Velvet Underground's Loaded and enjoy that far out sound. Admit it, it's the greatest plan evah!!

So yesterday was fun and goodtimes abounds . . . my afternoon was filled with many free pitchers of beer as me and my Scottish history class went out to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with style and flare. Namely, it was me with a few polysci buddies that crashed the table (ohhh they can hear the siren call of free beer from miles around) screaming at each other about free will, determinism and music. It was pretty much amazing/lame. Whatevs.

My evening was also spent with my good friend intoxication. Well, that and schmeltrex, also a good friend of mine. I was convinced that I was trapped in a cheesy memory montage. Conversely, schmelt was explaining her conviction that my parents were complete Freudian perverts with naming of my the family pets. A cat named "Puss" and a dog named "Rocket" . . . honestly!!

It's time to rock out my brothers . . . okay byeee!!!

2006-03-17T01:36:00.000-07:00

i'm the whiz!! jazz hands

2006-03-16T21:13:00.000-07:00

My horoscope for today reads as follows:

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)

"This would be an excellent week to tilt all the paintings on the walls of your home so they're hanging a bit crooked, refer to yourself as the "Wizard of Desserts," and stand in a mud puddle up to your ankles. I suggest that you further take advantage of the astrological opportunities by using a felt-tip pen to draw tattoos of magic symbols on your body, making love with grocery bags your heads, and reciting dirty limericks in front of people who think you're too serious."

Amazing!! I'm going to interpret that the stars are commanding me to get into a drunken stupor, and perhaps, do some tobogganing this weekend . . . maybe even in that order. Now all I need to do is convince one of my gullible/awesome friends to join me in this endevour. Trust me, you shall be rewarded richly . . . namely, friendship or broken bones. Whatevs.

Jealous, I'm sure.

pretty much awesome with cold

2006-03-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

To stave off these moody blues that I seem to be going through I have declared today to be a day of comfort and goodtimes abounds. So far I have enjoyed about a gallion of soup and anything else that is warm and embracing . . . ohhh the soup obsession, it's almost horrifying how much soup I have/continue to consume today. Currently, I am making Carrot Ginger soup which promises to be healthy and delicious . . . and not to mention, warm. Warmth is key to my happiness, my brothers, when I am cold I am but a mere shadow of my former self. I can feel the warm glow of neurosi swelling up inside. Neat!

Whatevs, I'm off to consume the world's store of soup and hot water! I am one mean muthafucker.

Peace out!

take this moment, it's yours

2006-03-12T21:49:00.000-07:00

Continuing with the melancholy goodtimes . . . I want to go outside and see the stars.

tales from the pits of ragu

2006-03-11T16:00:00.000-07:00

Ohh my brothers, this week was fun and goodtimes abounds.

On Wednesday I went to The Most Serene Republic show with In-Flight Safety and The Acorn . . . ohh awesome indeed. At the show I met up with Chad, always a goodtime as we share an equal love and appreciation for rhythmic handclapping. It almost rivels my obsession with the tamborine. Almost. How that little lead singer, Adrian, has such crazy energy is beyond me. Tiny man, so much energy . . . he's like a walking Christmas day miracle.

Last night was also brilliant in a lovely melancholy way. It had just finished snowing and everything was various shades of mauve . . . it's only during the mauve times that I have even the slightest appreciation for snow. I kicked back, listened to Antony and the Johnsons and enjoyed that far out sound. Everything was still . . . it was pretty much amazing.

I am off to meet b for sushi and gluttony and what not. I will return with stories of retardation and awesomeness! Jealous I'm sure!!

b side is a-team

2006-03-07T22:15:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted in a week because I am inept at all things internet-like. It took me a week to figure out that my internet was down because the powercord for the modem had come unplugged . . . an entire week wasted because of a pathetic cord and a simple fool. le sigh.

I would tell you all about my adventures during my internetless week but Gilmore Girls awesomeness calls!! Just know that my week was filled with fun and goodtimes abounds with some friends I like to call Johnny Cash, rum and arts vs crafts. Jealous I'm sure!!

Mostly my brothers, I am excited because tomorrow is the In-Flight Safety/The Most Serene Republic show which is happiness abounds for Chelsey. I think I will dress like a russian peasant girl for the show and all will exclaim how abundantly cool I am!! They will cry "You are abundant with cool!!" and I will smile knowingly.

solid gold dancers

2006-02-26T21:49:00.000-07:00

Oh my . . . the upcoming arts vs crafts show promises to be pretty much amazing. Just look at some of the greatness!!!

I am jealous of these people. God dammit! Must be less lame in the future and far more artsy chic. Whatevs.

something better

2006-02-26T20:56:00.000-07:00

Oh the goodtimes . . . I have been vomitting for the last 30 minutes. Two squares of chocolate and sweet, sweet death. Ohh lactose, ours is a bittersweet love.

Fuck. I don't think the chocolate is through raping my intestines.

Ha! Too much detail is fun and goodtimes. You're jealous.

. . . also it appears that I have offended Raymi. Oh yes, my social ineptitude reigns victorious once again!! Wonderful. Curse you late adolescent awkwardness; I'm 21, I'm supposed to be past this point.

2006-02-26T14:24:00.000-07:00

This is Raymi the Pony . . . she is bipolar and awesome and I love her.

raising the roof

2006-02-26T14:23:00.001-07:00

I am pretty much the coolest person I know . . . the Italian / Russian ballerina tourists also thought that I was awesome.

Fact.

2006-02-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

2006-02-26T14:22:00.001-07:00

It was around the point of taking this picture that I realized that I am in tick country . . . panic set in, running like a banshee ensued.

2006-02-26T14:22:00.000-07:00

we were like awesome

2006-02-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

Again with the cool and whatnot.

So Fairmount was pretty much fun and goodtimes abounds . . . oh my brothers there was a lot of rum consumed and raising of the roof. I think it would be safe to wager that everyone at the condo complex thought that I was either autistic or incredibly cool . . . my money is on the whole awesome bit. Ha! As I am totally lazy and still technically on vacation for another 9 hours and 28 minutes, I present to you highlights in point form . . . oh yes laziness indeed!!

-If ever in Fairmount, or passing by, or generally, just want to be cool, visit Funtasia. The name alone commands that a goodtime must be had . . . oh ho ho, it delivered. Funtasia is like the Captain Picard of my heart. Namely, there were goats and ponies and llamas or whatevs, so my ADD and quota for miniature things were fully satisfied. The best was naming the two shetland ponies that didn't completely hate me and the Schmeltrex . . . we named them raymi and px because that's what all the cool kids do. Also maybe they were named as such because one was bipolar and crazy, and the other was too cool for muthafucking school. I heart them. What is really great is that the retardation that ensued is perminately emblazed in some poor Italian tourists video . . . je regret le retardation.

-Following that goodtime, me and schmeltie headed off to the ancient bathhouses . . . needless to say, I looked pretty much super awesome when I rolled up my pants and squelled like a banshee at the sight of all the sulphur and filmy grossiness. Once again my cool was captured by the Italian tourists . . . me and schmelt were practically a tourist attraction ourselves.

-Also I learned that a girl can never have enough of rum and the OC. The two together was a Christmas day miracle and happiness pie all in one! It's okay to be jealous.

-When I am drinking I should avoid karoke at all costs . . . the lure to sing "Ziggy Stardust" or "Float On" at the local Bigway Bar was almost overwhelming. Fortunetely, I have fiends like schmeltie and lava to shame me just enough to convince me that singing would be a very bad thing. le sigh. Someday, perhaps, the karoke star that is lurking within me will get it's time to shine.

I grow tired of this list, that and I hear the siren song of an old-lady nap. Whatevs.

9 hours and 5 minutes. Peace out.

the travelling gongshow

2006-02-17T00:24:00.000-07:00

Hallo my brothers. Oh I am a excited girl, tomorrow I head off to a grand adventure in Fairmount with schmeltrex, lava and perhaps plus one. It's pretty much going to be fun and goodtimes abounds . . . namely, drinking, hot tubs, reading and zelda. All my favorite things!! oh my.

Basically today I have discovered that I am a packing diva. Ohhh yes, I am always and forever doomed to overpack like a crazy banshee . . . I blame it on my mother for not hugging me enough as a child. Also, I have decided that I hate writing historical book reviews, they are a complete waste of my precious energy and put me in a mood to start kickin things!! I swear if I ever see Fiona Watson on the streets of Glasgow, or whatevs, Ima cut her!! I heart ADD.

Take care my lovelies, I shall return in a week.

TO DA MOON!

i'll bring the sun

2006-02-15T18:05:00.000-07:00

Ohh my brothers I found out that Jason Collett is coming to town on March 24 . . . Good month indeed!!! FANTASTIC!

Also, I am so cold I feel the need to have my third shower of the day . . . ohhh warmth how I miss you so.

oh it's a christmas day miracle!!

2006-02-15T14:49:00.000-07:00

HOLYPISS!!! The Matthew Good Acoustic Tour of Sunshine and Miracles (perhaps I made up the tour name . . . perhaps) is in March!! That pretty much makes me a happy girl . . . actually, it makes me a ridicious overwhelmingly happy girl. Currently, I look like a creepy grinning fool, my smile splits the coast in half.

March shall be a good month for concert amazingness!! So now there's Matthew Good at the end of March to add to the list of Moneen and The Most Serene Republic . . . oh yes, more concerts please!!

So that pretty much completes my day of goodtimes, everything else shall be gravy. I just returned from a happy jaunt down Whyte Ave and despite the numbing weather, I had funness abounds. Ohh bless my new orange faux Uggs, from the ankle down was the only warm part of my body. Oh ho ho, they are tacky and delicious and you are jealous. Also, they are so awesome they could even destroy God in a kick fight (so clearly, Chad, you wouldn't of had a flippin chance!).

On my jaunt not only did I find lactose-free chocolate (joys!) and the most amazing shoes quite possibly EVAH!! They are called "I Am A Twin" and I love them with all my heart and soul but seeing as how I am going to be out of a job right away, and therefore, I will be out of money, I can't seem to justify it. Basically, what I am getting at is that some random stranger who wants to be my new best friend should really go and buy those bloody shoes in a size 9!! Merci beaucoup!

. . . I feel like everything I have written is nonsensical today. Me thinks it's because I am so bloody cold that I can't feel my limbs. My limbs, I need those . . . oh the humanity!

it's the beating of the hideous heart

2006-02-14T07:31:00.000-07:00

Happy Valentine's Day friends and lovers!!

ohhhh yes

2006-02-11T14:27:00.000-07:00

je regret

mountain man

2006-02-11T14:01:00.000-07:00

Ohhh duuuuude!! I should totally of been born a mountain man . . . I have the hair!! Just look at it, all I need is a parka and the set of Fargo and I'm muthafucking Brakhage!!! The only difference between me and Brakhage is I won't be a crazy banshee and make films with tape and moths. Horrifying indeed.

Last night I dreamt that I was Tom Hanks and I was skipping after a defecating hippopotamus . . . explain that Freud!!! HOLYPISS!!

Schmeltie for the love of god don't click on that link!!!

fuck you obo

2006-02-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

This insanely creepy music is floating up the stairs from the basement and is haunting me everywhere I go upstairs. Seriously, I'm convinced there is a small musically-challenged basement monster jamboree occurring right beneath me. Ohhh you should see the little muthafucker that plays the obo, he's flippin' awesome!

I am incredibly wigged out by the music right now. I'd go find the source of the mysterious music but I've pretty much convinced myself that if I do so it will lead to my death or whatevs. So play on!! Also, maybe, I'm avoiding writing a paper on colonialism and it's impact on identity. It's more like colonialism and it's impact on BORING me because I am sick of writing every flippin paper on it. Sometimes I miss the days on researching amphibious landings in WWII and the goodtimes that produced. le sigh.

The music is still playing. Oh my.

jesus powers the internet

2006-02-06T22:14:00.000-07:00

paper > sleep says:

what are you doing up at this hour?

chelsaurus rex says:

being a nerd . . . 5 minutes to kill before bus goodtimes

paper > sleep says:

You are just jealous because I am going to be student teaching in a CHRISTIAN classroom!

chelsaurus rex says:

MY LIFE LONG ASPIRATION!!!

paper > sleep says:

I got up early so I could phone the teacher before school to make sure I don't have to teach religionnnnnnnnnn...

paper > sleep says:

Me: And then um... God did stuff... and it was good?

chelsaurus rex says:

that is good/funny

chelsaurus rex says:

haha

paper > sleep says:

My born again Christian classmate was all "GOD WANTS YOU TO TEACH IN THAT CLASSROOM!!"

paper > sleep says:

pffffffffffffffffffffffft

chelsaurus rex says:

ohhh I would have gone all eric bana . . . but I have a rage issue

chelsaurus rex says:

if it makes you feel any better I had to write a paper last night discussing the proof of God WITHOUT sarcasm. Yes yess motion clearly is facillitated by god!!

chelsaurus rex says:

I"M MOVING MY LIMBSSSSSSSS THANK YOU LORD!!!!!

paper > sleep says:

Didn't you know?? The internet is powered by GOD!

chelsaurus rex says:

yesssssssss

paper > sleep says:

You're not plugging into a computer, you're plugging into JESUS

curse you aquinas!!

2006-02-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

I've spent the entire day reading philosophical proofs for the existence of God . . . excuse me while I smash my face against the wall ad infinitum. HOLYPISS!! All I've learned is that philosophers are fucking psychos. Fuck you and your circular arguments Thomas Aquinas!!!

Fuck.

2006-02-04T11:25:00.000-07:00

all this nerditry

2006-02-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

Oh my brothers, I have had a week of awesomeness. It was International Week at the University, which means that the school hosts tons of events and goodtimes all to raise awareness about human rights. Truly, it made me proud to go to a school that puts in such effort to discuss and question issues of development and global citizenship and what not . . . ohh yes, cheesy sentiment indeed!

Anyways, I spent my week going to an obscene amount of lectures. I think I clocked in approximately 12 hours of additional lectures above my typical school week . . . oh yes, geekiness abounds. But here's the part that I love about all this nerditry, I feel so rejuvenated!! There were so many people there that had taken a similar path in academia as I currently am . . . they were out and making a difference through education and action. What more could a girl ask for?! Dang! I just feel pretty much awesome right now. I heart International Week.

Ha! I'm off to go take pictures and whatevs. When I return I shall be reading till my crazy heart is content. I shall rue the day!!!

2006-01-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

2006-01-30T15:32:00.001-07:00

2006-01-30T15:32:00.000-07:00

2006-01-30T15:31:00.000-07:00

2006-01-30T15:30:00.000-07:00

2006-01-30T15:29:00.002-07:00

2006-01-30T15:29:00.001-07:00

2006-01-30T15:28:00.000-07:00

bag lady thoughts

2006-01-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

le sigh, I am torn. I have an obscene amount of homework due over the course of the next two weeks and yet instead of working away at the little bits, all I want to do is go to Whyte Ave or Downtown and take an obscene amount of pictures.

See the problem is this: I have been deprived of a camera for far too long, I miss photography and yearned for it. The best part is that I have been housebound for most of the weekend so almost all of my pictures are of me posing in several manners. Pathetic indeed.

Clearly, I am in a bit of a rut in my personal life . . . this whole antisocial bit is wearing thin. Normally, I like being alone but lately I just feel lonely. It's weird that I can sometimes feel myself shinking into my thoughts, like they will overtake me and I can't communicate outside of myself. I dunno, I just have felt weird lately. Also, I'm starting to be concerned that the older I get the more painfully self-aware I will become. I'll become an introverted bag lady wallowing in the constantness of her own situation.

I think that's what has been bothering me lately, I'm worried the longer I'm in school the more confined I will be to the inner sanctum of my thoughts. That somehow outside of the world of academia, I will fail to communicate with others except those that knew me long before or those who are willing to discuss issues of development in the Third World. That, or I just need to get out of the bloody house.

Clearly, I'm just wigging out. Hallo moodiness!! All I need is a pair of black-rimmed glasses to go with my temperment and I could be emo . . . that, my brothers, sent an icy chill down my spine.

colonial conquests of the chest

2006-01-27T23:03:00.000-07:00

My camera's triumphant return!!!

So apparently The Full Monty is nowhere to be found around town so I have decided to fill my evening with my other middle-aged love . . . Bill Murray. Oh how I adore him so. So I'm off to watch Broken Flowers (a Jerry pick) followed by Season 1 of Kids in the Hall. All the talk of it made me wants me some KITH, it's like sweet, sweet crack!

indeed old bean

2006-01-27T16:42:00.000-07:00

I think I am going to rent The Full Monty tonight and rock out to middle age men shaking it just for me!! Amazing!! Then it's homework times abounds for the weekend . . . you are so jealous!

a marathon of fear

2006-01-26T22:19:00.000-07:00

Ahhh I just had a refreshing ranty goodtime on WebCT. I dashed the dreams of some incredibly idealistic fool from my history class . . . ha! I am clearly the master of funk and evil!! Tomorrow will also hold such goodtimes as I'm fairly certain the person of whom I tore to tiny verbal shreds sits directly beside me. Neat!!

As well, the day will hold yet another amazingly awkward moment in Tory Breezeway. This is mostly due to the fact that I am an autistic git that is pretty much ALWAYS noisy/socially inept. I have a break before my Scottish History of class of which I spend like a nerd, sitting lamely waiting in the hallway outside my class, waiting for the opportunity to enter the room and claim my rightful spot . . . third row, third seat in. Always and forever. The small space is perpetually filled with awesome losers like myself. That, and painfully obvious silence.

When put in such a situation, I have a small nagging sensation to end the silence . . . unfortunetely, it is in the most inapproperiate way. Namely, I feel like putting on my Sunday best and running around screaming ERADICATOR where ever the silence lurks.

ERADICATOR!!!!

captain, my captain

2006-01-24T15:53:00.000-07:00

So today was pretty much brilliant! I went to my scary intense PolySci course, of which, I followed up with cappuccinos with The Schmeltrex at Leva. It was goodtimes scheming up how I am going to corrupt her hypothetical mole-sized children. Namely, I would preach communism to the wee bits and follow through with my musky sweater plan of yore. Ohh yes, that stench is certainly the musk of an unhappy childhood!!

I followed up the sweater corruption coffee vignette with a caffiene-buzzed jaunt down Whyte Ave . . . it was happiness abounds as it was sweater weather. That's my most favoritest weather of all!! The greatest part of the trip was the miracle sweater that I picked up for 4 flippin' dollars at Divine. It's navy and red with brass achor buttons. IT'S A CAPTAIN'S SWEATER!! When I walk the street wearing this sweater people will call out "Cappy"!! And I will reply with a grin and a hardy bark to swob the muthafucking deck.

TO DA MOON!!

ohhhh nelly

2006-01-20T16:27:00.000-07:00

So I haven't been posting much . . . or at all lately. Don't get me wrong my brothers, it's not for a lack of love for blogging and goodtimes, it's just the life of a shut-in isn't all that exciting. Literally, I've pretty much done nothing all week, the exception being Bak Hauk goodtimes with Tony last night. It was goodtimes abounds especially since the lady beside us kept eavesdropping and then proceeded to talk about internet porn! Honestly, if you are going to be a wretched git and listen in, be less obvious!! Or else Ima start fucking cutting things!!!

le sigh. Isolation has made me bitter and violent . . . ha! That can only be a sign of good things to come. Maybe I'll leave the house and do something today, I'll come back with stories to please the masses!!

Monday is soon to rear it's ugly head. Egads. I rarely mention politics on this blog for a specific reason: this is my escape, politics is my everyday at school and this is my happy reprive. But, my oh my, I can hardly contain myself. Educate yourself for fuck sake!!

welcome to lameville

2006-01-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

So, I have been enjoying quiet tranquility these past couple of days. Namely, I have been going to my classes, enjoying the academic goodtimes and then coming home to indulge in fun things like cooking and sewing. I'm trapped in the dollhouse . . . oh nerd!!

Seriously, I'm starting to really love the whole cooking thing, strangeness abounds as me and cooking have been pretty much at odds since the massive finger cutting debocale of '02. But I'm making things that taste good AND not slicing myself in the process!! Smashing success! As well, my stomach has decided to hate all things animal related, aka milk, butter, and cheesy, cheesy goodness . . . so cooking is now a survival mechanism or horrible death. Yesterday, curry almond vegan burgers, today miso soup and coconut curried veggies with jasmine rice . . . tommorow the world! HA!

The whole domestic good things has been part of an awesome promise myself to fulfil my times with more creative or neat things. I'm fighting for my muthafucking right to party with my sewing machine or whatevs. Fuck you, you're jealous!

Anyways, goodtimes await!! Peace out bitches.

sometimes just maybe

the mysterious ways of the iPod

things and stuff

bonjour

tuna fish

accoustics

sweet, sweet disco bulge

corporate responsibility is for fools and liberals!

adventures in awesomeness

hungry for the sun

in view

this originates from the heart

yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

lucky foot, other rabbit

the zombie christ

i heart nyc

i want to grow up to be the harbinger of the apocalypse

total eclipse of the heart

to be completed with the rest of the world

i'm a lumberjack and that's okay

futon woman!

pysanka? more like lamesanka!

incurring the old lady wrath

prime minister is another term for colonial domination

walking with a swagger

take my friendship gold

scowling from the darkest corner

sitting in the parking lot

'allo tink

a liberal fool

dahmer brings out the best in all of us

i loves you devil

the land of plenty and miracles

this boat is obviously sinking

jiggy with the nile virus

communism is the source of plaque

ohhh yes

pirate whores and trannies

blog couture

rockadile tales

drunklor vs tokyo

jungle fevah!

tiny cities of ashes

delish

welcoming distraction

ohhh joyfulness

i think i will start with your heart

something like a phenomenon

trapped in nerditry

destroying the universe one purse at a time

nature boy

i am a superhero

dance muthafuckah!

this is my heart

someday i want to be like them

i cannot fall asleep

i am jack's smirking revenge

indie as fuck

tear gas tears

sasky lapper

i'm the whiz!! *jazz hands*

pretty much awesome with cold

take this moment, it's yours

tales from the pits of ragu

b side is a-team

solid gold dancers

something better

raising the roof

we were like awesome

the travelling gongshow

i'll bring the sun

oh it's a christmas day miracle!!

it's the beating of the hideous heart

ohhhh yes

mountain man

fuck you obo

jesus powers the internet

curse you aquinas!!

all this nerditry

bag lady thoughts

i'm the whiz!! jazz hands