Call me chalk full of crazy, but me thinks I am writing in this blog strictly for myself. My insides hurt . . . why can't I be an online supastar?! It is an audience of ONE!!!
My audience smells funny.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
THE NEW SUPERAMAZING DIET CRAZE!!!!!11!1
Ohhh prepare yourselves for the greatest new diet!!! Dr. Wieffelschall's Supremely Amazing Diet of Sunshine-Puppy Greatness!!! Lose those extra pounds, inches and precious braincells.
HOW YOU SAY??! Prepare yourself for Greatness!!
Dr. Wieffelschall's Supremely Amazing Diet of Sunshine-Puppy Greatness consists of a simple dietary regime followed by a low-energy exerise routine. Basically, it's a diet of simplistic ease, just follow these simple steps:
Diet:
Caffiene is your only friend. It is important to remember that CAFFIENE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES YOU!!! Essentially, all you can consume is coffee. I'm not talking about that chicken-shit water you call quick-perk coffee, the Dr. Wieffelschall's diet is based heavily around the obscene consumption of triple espresso. Nothing else will suffice.
Exercise:
This is the easy part. After consuming such an abhorant amount of caffiene, you will shake all the unwanted pounds away. As an added bonus, you won't be able to sleep for days on end, the near-comatose state that will ensue afterwards will prevent any unwanted craving for real nourishment. HOLY COW!!! EASINESS ABOUNDS!
Enjoy my friends!!! March onwards to the future of the new malnourished you!! Egads! How svelte you look!
***Warning: This diet contains no actual nutritional basis. It can cause undetermined amounts of brain-damage, and god-knows what else . . . enjoy!!!
HOW YOU SAY??! Prepare yourself for Greatness!!
Dr. Wieffelschall's Supremely Amazing Diet of Sunshine-Puppy Greatness consists of a simple dietary regime followed by a low-energy exerise routine. Basically, it's a diet of simplistic ease, just follow these simple steps:
Diet:
Caffiene is your only friend. It is important to remember that CAFFIENE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES YOU!!! Essentially, all you can consume is coffee. I'm not talking about that chicken-shit water you call quick-perk coffee, the Dr. Wieffelschall's diet is based heavily around the obscene consumption of triple espresso. Nothing else will suffice.
Exercise:
This is the easy part. After consuming such an abhorant amount of caffiene, you will shake all the unwanted pounds away. As an added bonus, you won't be able to sleep for days on end, the near-comatose state that will ensue afterwards will prevent any unwanted craving for real nourishment. HOLY COW!!! EASINESS ABOUNDS!
Enjoy my friends!!! March onwards to the future of the new malnourished you!! Egads! How svelte you look!
***Warning: This diet contains no actual nutritional basis. It can cause undetermined amounts of brain-damage, and god-knows what else . . . enjoy!!!
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