Two Campbell women should never be allowed to hatch plots together. Me and the Mombles have decided that due to our exponentially growing weirdness, in order to keep anybody around for long, we will have to wage psychological warfare. The plan is quite simple. Basically, we plan on convincing our significant others that they are insane and therefore our seemingly strange behaviour is only in their imagination. Oh ho ho, it'll be greatness. Small changes at first, like changing the color of their toothbrush or replacing all the non-garlic pickles in the fridge with ripe garlic ones.
The next step is my favorite: experimentations in perspective. Slowly we will change small white porcelian mugs for another that is only slightly larger. Once a week the cup will be exchanged for a new, identical mug (only slightly larger). My hope is that they will think that the coffee is shrinking, that my friends, is the first sign of the experiment working. Naturally, the expanding of a simple white mug will tire over time, one can renew the thrill of torment by randomly interchanging the biggest and greatest porcelian mug with the smaller ones. Of course, it is of the utmost importance to always return to the big mug, especially when the tortured significant other becomes wary of your ways. Small steps, my friend, small steps are essential to this plan.
This whole experiment is intended to completely shatter the confidence in the individual. Everything must be watched carefully or it could change before their very eyes. Coffee mugs are tricky muthafuckers. Their sanity will be so fragile that they will assume that you are the only one who could love such a demented freak such as themselves.
Can't you feel the facial tick forming? Delish.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment