i am but a humble zombie. braiiiiinnnnnsssss.

Hallo my brothers. I am slowly recovering from the abuses of exam week and the horrors of. I'm still sleepy, crabby as hell and fighting off some pugnacious cold that has been a menacing force. As soon as my brain resumes it's normal functioning level, the posting shall return to normal.

Now I'm off to enjoy a night of Zhang Yimou's House of Flying Daggers and then precious sleep.

ou est la bibliotheque rouge?

ohhh I am so beyond tired at this point . . . even espresso cannot save me now. Currently, about 16 hours of my day is devoted to studying, let me tell you that's a world of fun!! Also, when one factors in sleeping, eating and trying not to implode, it doesn't leave much room for personal hygiene.

oh yes my brothers. Personal hygiene died this week with advent of exam's week.

rabbit in the hat

I just watched a show on David Blaine, magician extraordinaire, with the mombles. This is not good . . . she's now convinced that he is an alien. Oh yes, David Blaine's Special Magical Alien Hour!!! I can just imagine the drunken conversations this will produce at Thanksgiving.

Oh sonny no!

let the cramming begin!!

It's like mortal combat between my courses and their battling for my attention. Film studies is currently ruling the court . . . it's like Sonya, that scissor kick is holding the two polysci courses at bay currently but she can't hold it for long. I figure polysci 210, or Johnny Cash as I like to call him, will soon break the awesome force of Sonya's thieghs. That is until that hideous six armed thing lays the smack down. Oh pols 200, you are one mean mutha.

cramming it up, nerd style.

the poster child for ADD

**EDIT: It has been bought to my attention by the Council of Smeltrex and Neville Helmet Hotbottom that this particular post sounds like the ravings of a pill-popping, razorblade grabbing, lunatic. I feel I should mention that this post has been brought to you by the letters P, M and S; the most lethal combination of letters known to mankind.


I feel really shitty right now. shiiiiiitttttttyyy!!! The bloody dog won't stop barking and all I want to do is sleep.

I'm having a wierd, bi-polar day. When I woke up I was in a totally good mood, I had that awesome go-do-something-awesome feeling today. Before I left the house for my crazy runaround, I attempted to fix up my hair. Then the spazzing started . . . basically I wanted to cut off all of my hair and start from stratch. I put the scissors in my hand and threatened my hair; it never listens. So after talking myself down from shaving my head bald, I threw the scissors out of my hand, ran out of the room and started to cry . . . it was so awesomely pathetic.

So after my total meltdown I headed out the door looking like ass. I had completely refused to put on make-up, I wanted my face to match my awesome hair. I was kept company by the new LateNightTales CD; I meant what I told smeltrex, I could listen to that CD for the rest of my life and not have heard it enough. Anyways, despite the horror of my hair, I was in a fairly jaunty mood. I had my camera, it was nice out and the world was mine for the taking!

So I ended up walking to my most favoritest place in all of the 'burbs', it's this weird little dock surrounded by dead trees and condos. It's a pretty amazing spot, the bats hang out there. Once I got to my awesome place of happiness I was striken with the concept of going to an ex-friend's house. I could see his patio from where I was - it was the strangest feeling. I was completely mentally torn, I've been meaning to talk to Brehmer for a while but lack the balls to go up and admit that I was being an emotional bitch (and should never be taken seriously in such a state . . . not that today is much different).

Anyways I started to walk to his place, spazzed out, started to cry and bailed on the idea. I began to meander off down some weird dirt path that ran beside the condos. I calmed down to a rational being away and just enjoyed a rock-out moment listening to my music. Then I saw the parents of yet another old friend (slang for someone who isn't talking to me) and hid in the bushes. Seriously, they were the last people I wanted to see. For a moment, I thought I had pulled off the bush hiding with some semblance of grace and then I saw some creepy old lady watching me and shaking her head in confusion. I instantly felt embrassed and walked swiftly away attempting to play off my shame.

I started to head home, ladden in horrible feelings of awkwardness. My house was half a block away, I began to feel better just knowing I would soon be out of the public's eye. Then my neighbours evil little dog attacked me. This little poodle came up and tried to bite me. I just stood there and screamed like a fool until the neighbour came up . . . then the psycho yelling began. I flipped out at him, like postal-worker worthy flip out.

I'm really hate this day. I'm going to sleep away as much of it as I can and then drink the evening away.

fuck.

this is where trouble starts

Sometimes I just get infused with the necessity to do something creative. I feel completely compiled to run outside and cause mischief . . . like some retarded 20 year old terror!!! Oh wow. I love this feeling so much!!! IT'S TERROR TIME!!! Studying be damned, I have the infusion of awesomeness coursing through my veins!

And away we go!!!

if chins could kill

. . . work on 'the world's greatest rap song' has been slow to say the least.

It's ubersunny out today and I am the color of Data from Star Trek. It's really odd, the light coming from the window looks green due to the massive tree outside . . . the git is the size of the bloody moon. The green light is weirding me out, I feel like diaster is on it's way. Basically, in my head it's playing out like the scene from Evil Dead where the trees are possessed and then the unfortunete thing with the branch and the crazy girl. Except this time round I am the crazy girl . . . with noticably pasty skin.

Maybe I should stop playing with my new red glitter infused hot glue sticks and start actually studying.

obsessive-compulsive as fuck!

I'm watching the fashionista Steven Cojocara rant about his kidney. neato! Clearly I'm desperate for something to post, and therefore, I present you with this vapid piece of ass post.

ASS POST!

. . . I just admited to schmel my dark secret: I WANT TO WRITE THE GREATEST RAP SONG EVAH!!! oh ho ho it's going to be so amazing.

. . . I'm up for suggestions of lyrical awesomeness, my brothers. Oh am I ever up for suggestions.

my bride to be . . .  

i heart stalin

WOOT!!!

The history exam went smashingly . . . apart from one minor rant in essay form about how great the Soviets are. I mean, really, it's takes a real man (A Man of Steel, one might say) to sacrifice 43,000,000 people, all in the name of protecting the regime!! HOLYCRAP!! Stalin, could you possibly be the sexiest bitch evah?! I think so.

So now that the doom that is my history exam is over, me thinks I shall spend the day rocking out to nerdy music and watching an obsecene amount of movies. Sure I could do the logical thing and study for my next exam but that elimanates the fun of it all!!

I heart cramming. It fills my heart with glee . . . and an impending sense of doom.

It's nerd time!

brass monkey!! *dances like a fool*

you are SO jealous of my amazing amount of street cred . . . my ring pop is the closest thing I have to ghetto bling-bling. I guess that makes me pretty damn cool then!

operation 'don't completely suck' has begun

exam tomorrow. head full of history. rommell and hilter and kursk, oh my!

up in yo' kitchen's reign of terror: an annoyingly overly detailed account of pandas

oh my brothers, last night was a sodding GONG SHOW!! I have decided to embrace the culture of alcoholism, so with my new identity as a barfly/drunkard, me and smeltrex headed off to Scholar's. So we embarked on a mission which only settled the fact that wine is one mean muthafucka.

We set off at 20:00 hours, and stopped along the way for espresso. As I was the designated driver for the eve I figured I could at least satisfy my most favoritest vice: obscene amounts of caffiene. Armed with large cappachino, we headed out into the sunset towards the campus and what lies in wait for us there. The journey was a smashing good time, we rolled down whyte blaring Beck and dancing like one could imagine Star Wars nerd would . . . it was extremely hot!

Having got there, I attempted to parallel park . . . poorly. My poor 'zesty julian' was stuck at an awkward angle when I had just finally given up and ran from my shame. So now at scholar's, smeltrex's drinking commenced and my diet coke fetish was actualized.

It was 'Name that Tune" night which was awesome in a pretty lame way. It was particularly lame because I had been had . . . I had been promised a night of karoke!! not some tune thingy with lameness and painfully obvious songs WHATEVS! By the time the game had acutally started, smeltrex had shared a bottle of wine with some the brothers there. I like smeltrex on a third of a bottle of wine, she dances like a dork with me and does the 'sprinkler'.

Ah, yes. So the competetion had begun, so schmel and company order another bottle of wine and I contentedly chew on ice and the candies zombie man was handing out. smeltrex on two thirds of a bottle of wine is equally as neat! Again more dancing, despite her pleas not too. And further more, by being the only sober one at the table, I got to laugh at the misfortune of my drunken companions AWESOME speech capacities.

*sigh* and then came the third bottle . . . that's when the trouble began. Darcy and schmel had a big have at it over he being a dick (which he is) and smeltrex being a feminist (which she is). Oh hilarity ensued . . . followed by sleepiness. I proceeded to draw pandas while they bickered in drunkedy fun fun talk!

So back to Zan and Darcy's for a CD, and then we were off into the night. It was around 02:00 hours and schmel was precarelessly balancing on her heels and drunked awesomeness. We made it to the car, Smeltrex passed off a surprising amount of grace . . . until the car. Badness followed soon after. To spare the gory details but it was two hours of vomitting fun before we could begin to drive home. Neat!!!

At 04:30 hours I had finally managed to get schmel back into the park and finally to her house. So came the highlight of my evening . . . watching schmel attempt to make it up her stairs to the front door. HOLYPISS!!! when she walked into the doorjam, the look of shock that there was a door jam there was priceless!!! It was awesome!!

It was pretty much a night of awesomeness . . . with a few dashes on drunken panda nast!

'round we go again!

oh what a day! I have gone from drunk, back to sober, and hopefully, if my stratagem goes as planned, back to drunk all over again!! Basically it's been a day of fun, all I've done is fulfil all of my vices; espresso, alcohol, Modest Mouse (the soundtrack to my drunken bar adventure), and arguments with strangers about communism. Could this day be anymore awesome?!? OH I THINK IT CAN!!!

Just to ensure that the rest of my day goes splendafiously I rented Kill Bill Vol 1 (totally the better of the two). So if drunken deblotchery doesn't ensue at least I can spend my evening with Quentin Tarantino and sweet sweet bloodshed!

Peace out homes

why is my skin BUBBLING?!

bah, papers bad. sleep good. drinking great! And so it shall be . . . since I didn't get much sleep I have concluded to dedicate my day to some serious drinking at the plant. The drinking will now start at 11 AM as determined by smeltrex.

Atta girl!

caffiene is my bestest friend EVAH!

(red bull, chocolate covered espresso beans and banana milk. You know, for healthiness)

my healthy diet for the evening . . . how I loves me papers.

I only have 3 paragraphs left on my sodding film studies paper and then onto my poly sci junk. At this point, I could give a flying fuck whether Marx was an engaging writer but at suckass at the whole 'reasonable' theorist bit. Listen, Marx is beautiful, no matter what. Accept it and move on. jeez.

egads I have no idea if what I just wrote made any sense . . . I hate the final papers push. I miss the glory days of sciences - I just wanted to kill myself but at least there was no papers! I hope sciences will take me back. *sigh*


**NOTE: I am aware that the post said 10 o'clock. I swear, I'm not that pathetic. It's a bit later than that I just don't know how to change the time thingy . . . fuck it.

in for the long haul . . .

ohhh my humble brothers. I heart having a distraction. Currently, I have 3 papers to do before tomorrow . . . HOLYPISS!!

Hence the necessity for a distraction, it means I can put off working on papers for a bit longer. As well, it means I get to stay up -super- late tonight. No worries, I'm just going to start pounding Jager bombs tomorrow night at the Powerplant. The drinking shall commence that 1 PM!!! I'm thrilled! THRILLED!!

rain rain bugger off!

it was a day of gross at school today.

I'm beginning to develop a resentment for rain, the bitch has been ruining my week. I've determined that it is stalking me, I step outside of my house and it'll begin to dribble. All week it's been doing this. Me outside of the house means rain. Me inside the house and it's nice out. What a bitch.

If I ran into rain in the streets I would most likely run after the bitch screaming "I'MA CUT YOU!!" oh ho ho with my shankin' tool the bitch will go down.

Quit ruining my life!!

Dang.

F for FUCKING FUCKED!!!

ohhh excitment!

In t minus 5 I am off to Leva for the Fait AcCompLit opening jamboree. This should serve to be fun, and even if it is the ultimate in boringness, it shall be in the land of amazing caffiene! Then I jauntly run off to the Metro Cinema to watch Orson Welles' F for Fake. Which, I should add, I will require a drool rag as I'm sure my jaw will reach the floor as I witness his amazing directing. It's safe to say I love Orson Welles . . . maybe in a dirty way.

Anyways, caffiene and Welles calls. Fun and goodtimes are on their way!! WOOT!

clearly the lightbulb malfunctioned on this one

Why?! Why would you stuff a dog toy with RED stuffing?! His eyes are weeping for humanity. I have to wonder what the hell they were thinking.

I just got an email from one "coffee ninja" . . . I like the sounds of him already!

I am but a humble sailor on the good ship Peach Schnaps

Oh ho ho! I was drunk as a swarmy bastard last night. Drunkedy drunk drunk drunk! What amazing things you discover when you are drunk.

Anyways, I feel it necessary to record all the retarded things I did. The intention being that next time the tequila worm calls to me, in the traditional worm form of dirty limericks, I will recall what an ass I am!

Amazing drunk realizations:

-apparently I am amphibious. I am made of part frog, part human. Truely, it is a necessary hybrid given that I live -in- the river . . . Or so I told the obscenely drunk Native kid, Shane, at the park. Ah, Shane, he was a good kid.

-pizza is good at all hours of the morning. It is particularly good when it has been sitting on the ground outside by the firepit for hours and has taken on a particular ashy desposition. Can you feel your mouth begin to salavate?

-under no social circumstances should one admit that they know all the words to the Charmin' jingle. Seriously, no good can come of this. Picture it. I imagine that my drunken Charmin' dance could be as huge as the Star Wars kid of greatness!

-when you wish upon a shooting star, keep in mind that you are not the original one to wish for such a miracle. I swear the waiting list for a night with Colin Farrell and his penis must be a bloody mile long!

-drunkeness is the mother of invention. When entertainment is lacking, just abuse your sexuality. Apparently, nothing makes me more excited than watching drunken strangers do a sexy shimmy for me! Nothing is better!

-The "water sprinkler" is an approperiate dance move in all situations . . . even without music it is a great ice breaker! It is particularly hot when you coordinate the sprinkler with another person so inclined to be amazingly cool!

I am a classy lady, what can I say?

victory is mine!

gnome chunksky - a broken gnome, hordes of hot glue sticks and too much time on my hands causes trouble.

I finally figured out how to publish photographs because I am flippin dumb!! I feel so proud . . . also kind of hungry.