the poster child for ADD

**EDIT: It has been bought to my attention by the Council of Smeltrex and Neville Helmet Hotbottom that this particular post sounds like the ravings of a pill-popping, razorblade grabbing, lunatic. I feel I should mention that this post has been brought to you by the letters P, M and S; the most lethal combination of letters known to mankind.


I feel really shitty right now. shiiiiiitttttttyyy!!! The bloody dog won't stop barking and all I want to do is sleep.

I'm having a wierd, bi-polar day. When I woke up I was in a totally good mood, I had that awesome go-do-something-awesome feeling today. Before I left the house for my crazy runaround, I attempted to fix up my hair. Then the spazzing started . . . basically I wanted to cut off all of my hair and start from stratch. I put the scissors in my hand and threatened my hair; it never listens. So after talking myself down from shaving my head bald, I threw the scissors out of my hand, ran out of the room and started to cry . . . it was so awesomely pathetic.

So after my total meltdown I headed out the door looking like ass. I had completely refused to put on make-up, I wanted my face to match my awesome hair. I was kept company by the new LateNightTales CD; I meant what I told smeltrex, I could listen to that CD for the rest of my life and not have heard it enough. Anyways, despite the horror of my hair, I was in a fairly jaunty mood. I had my camera, it was nice out and the world was mine for the taking!

So I ended up walking to my most favoritest place in all of the 'burbs', it's this weird little dock surrounded by dead trees and condos. It's a pretty amazing spot, the bats hang out there. Once I got to my awesome place of happiness I was striken with the concept of going to an ex-friend's house. I could see his patio from where I was - it was the strangest feeling. I was completely mentally torn, I've been meaning to talk to Brehmer for a while but lack the balls to go up and admit that I was being an emotional bitch (and should never be taken seriously in such a state . . . not that today is much different).

Anyways I started to walk to his place, spazzed out, started to cry and bailed on the idea. I began to meander off down some weird dirt path that ran beside the condos. I calmed down to a rational being away and just enjoyed a rock-out moment listening to my music. Then I saw the parents of yet another old friend (slang for someone who isn't talking to me) and hid in the bushes. Seriously, they were the last people I wanted to see. For a moment, I thought I had pulled off the bush hiding with some semblance of grace and then I saw some creepy old lady watching me and shaking her head in confusion. I instantly felt embrassed and walked swiftly away attempting to play off my shame.

I started to head home, ladden in horrible feelings of awkwardness. My house was half a block away, I began to feel better just knowing I would soon be out of the public's eye. Then my neighbours evil little dog attacked me. This little poodle came up and tried to bite me. I just stood there and screamed like a fool until the neighbour came up . . . then the psycho yelling began. I flipped out at him, like postal-worker worthy flip out.

I'm really hate this day. I'm going to sleep away as much of it as I can and then drink the evening away.

fuck.