My horoscope for today reads as follows:
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
"This would be an excellent week to tilt all the paintings on the walls of your home so they're hanging a bit crooked, refer to yourself as the "Wizard of Desserts," and stand in a mud puddle up to your ankles. I suggest that you further take advantage of the astrological opportunities by using a felt-tip pen to draw tattoos of magic symbols on your body, making love with grocery bags your heads, and reciting dirty limericks in front of people who think you're too serious."
Amazing!! I'm going to interpret that the stars are commanding me to get into a drunken stupor, and perhaps, do some tobogganing this weekend . . . maybe even in that order. Now all I need to do is convince one of my gullible/awesome friends to join me in this endevour. Trust me, you shall be rewarded richly . . . namely, friendship or broken bones. Whatevs.
Jealous, I'm sure.
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