here lies the remains of my academic glee

bleh. My brain is one paper away from a serious implosion bit . . . it's been way too active up there as of late, and it's not the fun type of crazy ADD/zombie thoughts either but the sodding wretched academic type. Ohhh I swear that after I hand in this paper tomorrow I am going to go drinking, oh ho ho I will drink myself into a fucking coma or whatevs.

Don't fret my friends, it's not like I'll be drinking alone, my good friend Henrique, the small swarmy French man that urges me to drink at frequent intervals, will be there. Naturally, no one else will see him, but trust me, he's there and he's insulting every last one of you . . . it's not his fault, he's French. Ha! I heart my imaginary French man!

Fuckkkkkkkkkkk.

pick a color and it's yours

Well, looks like my aspirations of Big City fun/L&G concert is going to be a bust. Ohh and it saddens me so. Unfortunetely, I have 13 books to muddle through and many more journal articles to peruse in order to actually write this bloody research paper. Curse you research!! I'm off to bury my nose in a book and sob. WOOT!

guard your brains like fuck

Okayy new plan: I'm no longer going to listen to Do Make Say Think when it's dark outside and I'm all be my lonesome. Don't get me wrong, I love their CD, but the first minute of the first track on Country Hymns Winter Hymns Secret Hymns sounds like zombies. Ohhh so creepy.

I am convinced that when the merciful zombie apocalpse comes, that song will be the soundtrack to the massacre. Naturally, I was busy convincing myself of this delicious fact and got so wigged out that the obsessive locking of the doors and peeking out the window had to occur. If the zombies are coming, I'm going to make it a friggin challenge to get my precious brains.

I really wish that I had a device to record all the crazy thoughts that entire my mind in a short span of time. It's pretty much like fucking brain hyperspeed all the time . . . I clearly practice quantity over quality. But how fucking intense would that be?! HOLYPISS!!

stephen harper is voldemort

Oh my, it's the final paper push before exams. Ha! Sleep deprivation is the muthafucking shit. Tonight I have to write a paper on capitalism and how it steals the very soul of the worker . . . me and Marx are like best friends, always and forevah! Then it's on to fun and goodtimes with Afghanistan and cultural history and what not. Le sigh, I loves me education.

Mostly, I am concerned that all this academic junk will impede my going to the Ladies and Gentlemen show on Saturday. I really want to see the tambo-rockin awesomeness that is L&G. That and also Pickpocket is playing at the Metro this weekend, of which, if I miss it my insides will slowly turn to sadness and death. Quite frankly, sadness and death is just simply unacceptable right now. The weekend mocks me with all it's potential!!

Fuck you weekend of greatness!!

chelsey vs awesome

My brothers, I have a new love . . . thy name is Kenny vs Spenny. Every second that I am not watching that fanfuckingtastic show I feel empty and hollow inside. There's no color or happiness in the world without my naive Spenny . . . poor rat bastard is always being thwarted by that devilish Kenny. If I ever see Kenny I'm totally going to take the show way too serious and kick the muthafucker straight in the junk or something less extreme. Perhaps a dirty look or whatevs. Trust me, it'll be goddamn scorching.

Oh my, less than two weeks and me and my darling camera shall be reunited. It's been a long and difficult seperation and I miss it so. Tell your camera you love it everyday and never go to bed angry . . . you'll both be better for it.

ADD and me

This post is a little delayed as I have been a busy little nutter . . .

Oh my brothers, Thursday was a Christmas day miracle!! It was a little something like I to call Broken Social Scene and oh ho ho it was fun and goodtimes abounds. le sigh. I completely miss them and the amazing good things they brought with their precious little selves . . . namely, a little indie awesomeness to dreary Edmonton.

It was the best show I have ever seen and a very close second in the Top Five Concerts list (Matt Good will always and forever reserve the prestigious first spot), mas maintainent, the seperation between second and first is like a milliwhatevs. Perhaps, what made it the bestest of the best was that I am the band's most favoritest person in the world . . . when your crazy autistic fan is up front rocking out and grinning like a fool it's best to give them the attention they so clearly need. My rock out face consists of me grinning a grin that could consume the muthafucking world! Je suis le plus boiteux.

TO DA MOON!!

my one true love I call thee internet

Oh my brothers, this post is a welcome relief from the disaster that is currently taking hold on my history paper and that bloody word count. I had merry thought I had finished my paper only to check word count and find I am a thousand fucking words short!!! How could I have been so naive? How could I of underestimated my word count so?!?!! It's the friggin' lame ass philosophy papers I have been writing, they have tainted me however with their freakishly small world count. Now excuse me, I'm off to smash my head against the keyboard for the next 10 minutes to increase my word count. DANG!

je suis lame

Bonjour mon petit freres, ohhh I have so much to get done in so little time it's bloody ridicious. Whatevs. Mostly I am conflicted as the Fait Accomplit opening bash is coming up and I am to bring some of my photos for display. And here in lies the question of which photographs and how does one display such a dizzy array of lame . . . me thinks I will just make everything black and white and play up the distortion to bring out the cool.

Speaking of the Fait Accomplit opening bit, here's a bit of propaganda pour vous . . . Everyone should join me at the fait accomplit thingy on Friday at Dewey's, the weird artsy room in Powerplant that you only venture in when you're drunk and looking for the exit, between 7-9. It will be fun and goodtimes abounds and I will be the idiot getting my drunk on and pretending to be artistic and junk. I'm going to even attempt to pedal off some of my photos, so you should bring money and buy things from me, or at the very least buy me a friggin drink. J'aime rum et coke.

Also, you should bring $15 with you to buy a new edition of Fait Accomplit, of which I'm published in, and also a back edition, of which I am not published in.

Ha! I heart propaganda!

get thee to a nunnery

Oh goodtimes abounds, "Sister Act" is on the telly, now normally I would pretend to be put off by the overt cheesiness but this one is special. Come on, Whoopi Goldberg and some muthafucking rocking nuns! Holypiss! But mostly I love this movie because I had the soundtrack back in the day, me and the retarded cousins used to put on the CD and create elaborate nun dance routines. Naturally, we would put the couch's armrest covers on our heads because the greatest habits it would make. A breakdancing nun is way better than that flying nun bullshit . . . it was bitchin and you are all jealous.

thank you my veteran friends

Oh my brothers, I was going to fill this post with my typically retarded ramblings but I have ditched the posty goodness to bring you an important message on Remembrance Day. And a way we go:

Hug a veteran.

Just let go and give into the sweet stale smell of the elderly. You don't have to know them, just find the liscence plate, you know the one with the poppy on it, and wait. When they stumble their awkward way up, that's when you pounce. Hug them for all they are worth because sadly they are a dying breed. Also, give them an extra one for me because they give me something to study at school . . . embrace them you fools!

reading is a sexy bitch

"In polyarchic systems the crucial bulwark against military intervention has been constitutional structures that define military authority and their realms of operations" . . . oh ho ho I know you are SO jealous of my reading fun tonight!

Tomorrow I have a date with a little something I like to call Political Paranoia: The Psychopolitics of Hatred. Ohh baby!

loves it.

and then some . . .

a lovely shade of mauve says:
gahhh I'm watching the mermaid baby's leg surgery

Queen of the Mole People says:
EWWWWWW

Queen of the Mole People says:
I do not like looking at surgeriesss

a lovely shade of mauve says:
but i love looking at mermaidsss

Queen of the Mole People says:
YOUR MOM IS A MERMAID

a lovely shade of mauve says:
SHUT UP!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!

Queen of the Mole People says:
I KNOW EVERYTHING!

a lovely shade of mauve says:
. . . excuse me I have to add more water to the bathtub for the mother

Queen of the Mole People says:
Don't want her gills to dry out!

a lovely shade of mauve says:
it's more so the scales I want good shape . .. Ima skin her and sell it on the fur market

a lovely shade of mauve says:
WHAT IS WITH ME AND MISSING WORDS!!?!?

a lovely shade of mauve says:
I'M A JACKASS

Queen of the Mole People says:
IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE 1/2 MERMAID

a lovely shade of mauve says:
we merfolk are smarter than you fucking landfolk!

a lovely shade of mauve says:
FUCK YOU AND YOUR LEGS

Queen of the Mole People says:
LOOK AT ME AND HOW I CAN WALK!

Queen of the Mole People says:
GEE, WALKING ON TWO LEGS IS SO FUN!

a lovely shade of mauve says:
yea well I know the depths of the sea!! DO YOU!?! I THINK NOT

it's a party at the winter palace and everyone's invited!

Je suis tres excited and also awesomely bilingual. Clearly.

Today is the day of research glory, of which, I will become the best of friends with Richard Overy and many other excellent war historians to explore the depths of Stalin's psyche. Oh I know you have got to be jealous of my education!!

Right now I'm watching Oprah and the little mermaid baby. Holy crap I friggin love mermaids!!

A whole new something less cheesy

Oh my brothers, I am an exicted girl . . . it is the first snowfall of the year. It's fantastic and crisp and the one day out of the year where I am not completely disenfranisched with the little bits. I love the first snowfall of the year, it turns everything a wonderful shade of monotone, and under the streetlights it almost looks pink or mauve or whatevs. Ohh I am going to get all decked out in my winter clothing garb, rock out to Bowie and take in the newly pink world.

gonads and strife

For those of you who do not understand why I love Matthew Good and his awesome talent, why I stand in line for hours before the show or even why I will literally get in a fight in an alley protecting my right to be an obsessive freak . . . read this. You'll get it.

the happiest little elf 

king of awesomeness

Oh my brothers, I wish I had my camera so I could record how retardedly chic I fucking look right now. Currently, I am wearing my rocking awesome Christmas slippers, they are fuzzy and sing the most awesomest carols at the push of the button. Oh they are muthafucking mean ass slippers. Dang!

oh moses smell the roses

Bonjour mon freres! Oh my, I have finally recovered from my weekend of rock to regale all the bloody details to you lovely people. My weekend was filled Matthew Good at the Starlite Room and goodtimes abounds. Three days of brilliant glory!! Ah yes, here's the breakdown:

The line was fun and goodtimes, I was there obscenely early as always. It's a thing, a schtick if you will; the goal being to transform Edmonton into the neurotic line-up capital of the world! Honestly people, get out and line up, cold brick and hard cement is the new cool. Alas, as it stands I am the lone line-up freak, people thought that I was not only a pusher of the illegal drug bits but also homeless. Neat! But there are rewards to such a neurosi, I got to hang out with Christian and Pat which was pretty much amazing. le sigh. Every day after a few hours with the filth and the wafting smell of Chicago Deep Dish food poisoning, I was joined by my comrades. It's awesome to be joined by a group of boys that are just as giddy by the sight of Matt Good as you are.

Let me tell you, I may sound slightly casual about my line obsession but it is not something to be tampered with. On the first night, I almost got in a fight with these people that tried to cut in front of me. I'm a relatively passive person but that crossed a muthafucking line!! Let that be a warning to anyone, you fuck with the line you had best be ready to throw down . . . ohh yes, so much street cred it hurts. Dang!

Ahh yes and now onto the best of the best: the concerts. It was a fanfuckingtastic tour to put it lightly. Matthew Good once again found a brilliant opening band, The Ladies and Gentlemen. Imagine a band of five guys beating themselves with tamborines and rocking the rhythmic clapping . . . oh it was fricking awesome! And then, Matthew and company came on stage . . . they were not to disappoint. Oh my brothers, the second night was the greatest Matt Good show I have ever seen and there have been many a shows. It's pretty much a guarantee that anytime a show starts up with The Rat Who Would Be King it's going to be the most awesomest. Not only did they start with my most favoritest song but then Matthew finished with an accoustic encore of Apparitions, Prime Time Deliverance, Tripoli and Generation X-wing. Oh it was goodtimes abounds. I heart Matt Good and the beauty he invokes.